CHANGES...

Change is good...right??? Well in the spirit of keeping my blog and actually using it... I am making it an open blog again... that is right... anyone can read my blog now... So... remember to bookmark my page or become a follower (thanks Trish!!!) so that when I update you will know!! I am going to try to make a valiant effort to blog at least once a week once I move to Colorado the end of July. My blogs will hopefully have pictures and stories of what Ian and I are up to and how work and life is going for me.

Be sure to continue to check back soon!

A day at the Bells

A beautiful spring day at the Maroon Bells...

Hiking in the Ice Caves and Hunter Creek

This trip to Colorado has been a little more interestin than the last. The last trip was only 4 days and with so much to do and see and so little time to do it in, it is no surprise that this trip has had more adventure packed in!!! Today we went hiking at the Ice Caves between the Continental Divide and Aspen. (I will post pictures from there as soon as I can hijack Ian's mac) It was mildly sprinkling when we arrived at the trailhead to go up to the caves... it only lightly sprinkled during most of the hike, which was beautiful in itself... there was still some ice in the caves, but apparently not as much as usual at this time of the year. Ian has loads of pictures of me "playing" on the rocks with a huge grin on my face to prove that I had fun today! He had to turn around often to check on me either because I was REALLY quiet, or I was squealing and he wasn't sure if they were happy squeals or "I'm hurt" squeals.

Inside the ice cave. Check out the awesome curves!!! Ian has some other pictures that are more incredible than mine, but I don't have them yet...

Ian likes this picture, he says it is better than the one he took on his incredibly better camera than my little 5.1 megapixel... :) I'm not proud or anything... no not me...

Ian between taking pictures! Isn't he handsome?

Me and Ian in front of the cascades. Notice the color of my shirt and the lack of moisture... see below for the after shot only 45 minutes later!!!

Hunter Creek in Aspen, Colorado. Here is a view of the "creek" looking up the creek... not exactly MY definition of a creek, but hey, who asked me?

Me and Ian together looking up the creek... yes, I am sopping wet... yes I am hiking in 50 degree weather in the rain... and yes... I am still smiling...

New blog title...

Well family and friends... it is official... I AM MOVING to COLORADO!!!! I was offered a job in the Basalt/Carbondale school districts, just north of Aspen!! I am MOVING to the ROCKY MOUNTAINS!!!! I am beyond excited...

I will post pictures, update my blog and pictures and give more details soon!!

Rocky Mountain High...

I am home from my (too short) trip to Basalt, Colorado to see Ian... the absolute LOVE of my life! I left last Thursday on that jet plane to Denver, a little nervous about what was going to happen that weekend... nervous about maneuvering through Denver Int'l Airport on my own... nervous about seeing him again... I honestly have no idea why I was nervous about seeing him, but I was! I just had this fear that he would see me differently in Colorado than he did when he was home in March. The drive from Denver to Basalt was beyond pretty, well at least what I saw, apparently I slept through the prettiest part of the drive! But by the time we got to his apartment most of my nerves had settled, at least I thought they had, he tells a different story!

That night we just hung out at his place, enjoyed being together after not getting to spend too much time together while he was in Tulsa. It was great to be able to just be together with no worries about timelines and deadlines! Friday he took me through Snowmass and into Aspen where we walked around for a bit. Saturday we drove up to the lake that is near his apartment. I think it is Lake Ruedi??? We saw some elk, some mountain goats, some deer, and lots of awesome scenery. Sunday we ventured out and walked down to the river that runs behind his apartment. It was a little chilly on Sunday and I didn't have anything remotely warm in my suitcase... Very early Monday morning (like 1:30 am) Ian directed my attention to the window where it was SNOWING outside!!! Imagine my excitement to SEE SNOW in the middle of April!!! Monday morning found me outside taking pictures of the beautiful snow that covered the area before we drove to Denver to put me back on that jet plane for Tulsa. :(

My departure from Denver was quite an emotional rollercoaster that is for sure! It all started when we got to the airport at 4:30 for my 5:25 flight. He took my suitcase out of the back of his Jeep and leaned in to give me a hug... I had told myself that I wasn't going to cry, yea right... that was wishful thinking!!! As he is telling me that he already misses me and that he loves me and all sorts of other sweet things, the tears start rolling down my cheeks... I make it into the airport at 4:40 only to realize that there are 2 agents working the 4 checkin stations... my plane boards in 15 minutes... at 4:50 I am making my way toward the security area with cell phone to my ear calling Sasha for emergency rescuing if needed. 4:59 going through Security, someone was looking out for me because a new line was opened when I needed it most! I arrived at the VERY LAST terminal at the VERY LAST gate at exactly 5:05 and we started boarding our plane at 5:06... yea... Can I say thank you to my guardian angel enough????

Here are a few of the pictures from the trip, I will post more as I get them. Ian is slowly sending them to me daily from his camera!!!!

These are the three little rocks that we found that looked cool when we went to the river. We also thought that the big rock was neat. It was my idea to take the picture of our "Rock Family."

One of my favorite pictures of us so far. I am hoping that there will be plenty more pictures of us in the future!

Ok this is OFFICIALLY my FAVORITEST (yes Annie I said FAVORITEST) picture yet!!

Mid-Month Review...

April Showers Bring May Flowers... so they say... I have decided that I really need to invest in a cute pair of golashes so that when the ark (or rescue boat) floats up to my door I won't ruin my shoes wading out to get in! It has been raining cats and dogs out at my parents house and it seems like it is never going to end!

Other updates for this month... bowling was great fun! I managed to bowl in the three digits the first game... I think my score the first game was straight up 100... the second game however... yeah... well... the whole purpose of the bowling event was to raise money for an awesome group AND to have fun... so that is exactly what I did! I granny bowled the entire game... and managed to end up with a final score of like 80??

Spring Soccer season is in full swing for McKenzie. Yesterday was her second game of the season (she's had one game cancelled and then had a few by weeks due to tournaments) and my lil' girl played soooo well!!! Oh my goodness, she is goin to be good when she gets older if she gets the proper training and skill drill. She was stopping the ball, getting in the middle of the group and fighting for the ball, and just being aggressive!!! I will have to post a video from her game. I was so proud of my girl, so proud that I texted E to brag about her skills!!!!

State testing... a wonderful time of the year... I "enjoyed" state testing while working in Texas. It was great... I used the card of "I'm not a certified teacher... can't monitor OR administer the test..." But here in Oklahoma, you don't have to have a teacher's cert to monitor the test... Apparently you don't have to have a state certificate to be a classroom teacher to administer the test... as long as you have a state cert from OSDE... so I get the PRIVELAGE (trying to remain optimistic) of administering the test to one of my students. A student that I enjoy working with, on short timeframes... like thirty minutes at a time with at least one day in between sessions! I have requested hazard pay and/or extra mental health days as compensation for this endeavor. I have been told that I can't either, but I do get a soda AND a candy bar... WOOHOO!!!

However, I am looking forward to going to Colorado the week after state testing. I don't think that Ian and I could have planned the timing of this trip any better! I am going to be 100% ready for a relaxing weekend!!!

Moving On...

So many of you know, Ethan and I broke up almost 3 months ago... he told me that I needed to do what was best for me... to do for me... I must admit that dating was NOT at the top of my list of things to do for me... getting out and meeting new guys that could potentially break my heart didn't even make it on my list!!! The things that made it on my list were to get out and do more things with my friends, to see my cousins and do things with them, to work on my scrapbooks and quilt, to get to know me and figure out who I am without a guy to define me, and to continue to work on making the daily decision to be a better me! All of these things I had been doing, and doing well I think... until...

In January after my not so cryptic "life sucks" posts on both Myspace and facebook, one of my friends from high school was quick to inquire about what was going on in my life. Note that this is a guy that I was acquainted with him high school, but definitely didn't hang out together much, if at all... but we reconnected at our 10 year reunion... it was at this point that he and I started to talk about what was going on in both of our lives, coincidentally, he and his girlfriend had just broken up as well, ironically enough! So for the month of January up until about my birthday, we leaned on each other and helped the other deal with the pain of having lost a loved one without so much a DECENT reason. We both felt that our relationships could have been saved if both parties put forth the effort and that they were worth saving. Around my birthday things started to change... we started to build more of a friendship and we started to talk more about things we both liked and less about the EX's... we even started to flirt with each other...

Fast forward to March. He came home to visit his family, and subsequently me... I was very skeptical about seeing him when he came home, partially why I wanted to hang out with him with other friends at first rather than alone. Skeptical you say... yes, he is male... male's tend to have minds of their own and intentions that they keep to themselves... but alas, we went out with one of my best-close girlfriends and her guy that first night and we hit it off. We couldn't stop laughing and smiling and I even think that at one point in the evening, we were in our own world and totally forgot that Val and her guy were at the same table as the two of us! After that night, we saw each other for at least an hour every day he was home... the picture at top is after we went to dinner one night before he went back to Colorado.

So I guess it is official, I am starting to move on. I do care immensely for Ethan and I do wish him the best in all that he strives to achieve. However, I have seen some interesting traits in him since we broke up that are making it easier for me to move on. Like him saying he wants to be friends with me, and yet he won't talk to me or see me... maybe that is his way of dealing with him pain, I don't know and I may never know. He will always have a special place in my heart and I will probably always care about him. Is that bridge burned you may ask? No, no bridge is ever completely burned (in my world that is, unless you do something to totally make me not ever want to see you or talk to you again) until I have said "I will" to a guy after receiving a proposal.

I'm moving past the hurt and the pain. I am starting to smile again and laugh. I am enjoying the warm and fuzzy feelings that I get from being around someone that is fun and easy going. I am NOT enjoying the 900 mile separation from the person that is making me smile and laugh so easily, but I will cross THAT bridge when we get there. For now, I am enjoying the ride of being infatuated (so to speak) with someone and getting to know them better and feeling like I am someone special and wonderful.

To the "mystery" guy in the picture. THANK YOU for helping me during that bleak time of my life just a few months ago and THANK YOU for your friendship, it means the world to me. Things happen for a reason, I am a FIRM BELIEVER in that and God has a plan for each of us. I truly believe that God puts people in our paths at times when he feels necessary and that there is a plan for us, whatever it may be. You have brought laughter and smiles back to my life. You have made me feel so carefree the past two weeks and feel like I am loved. I am very thankful that I got to spend as much time with you as I did last week and am looking forward to visiting soon in Colorado!

Spring Break...

My precious niece... so photogenic... so... adorable... so loving... so caring... so much like her aunt that it isn't real!

A candid picture taken of the two of us in the flowers. One of several in a series!

Check out the look I am being given by her! The look was better about a millisecond before the shutter clicked!!!

I had the pleasure of spending the afternoon with Kenzie Ann at Woodward Park on Sunday afternoon. One of my great friends from high school joined us and snuck some pictures of us together while we were playing in the flowers! I will post those pictures as soon as I get them from him. Check out the eyes on my little princess! I can't believe how BLUE they are!

This little girl means the world to me! I can't believe that she is growing up so fast! It seems like just yesterday I was holding her in my arms as an infant... and now she is sitting in the front seat of the car, reading books to me, and almost too big to have slumber parties with me in my bed!

I have this funny feeling that my little girl is going to be a photographer... she took some AMAZING pictures at the park... especially considering she is only 8...

A flower that Kenzie photographed... looks great!

25 RaNdOm THINGS about me...

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

Here I go...

1) After spending 6 years at TU chasing down my BS and MS degrees, I am thinking of going back to school for yet another Masters degree or some specialty certification
2) I'm loyal to others to a fault
3) I am known for falling asleep while watching movies at home... no matter what time of the day we start the movie...
4) My pj's usually match...
5) In order for me to warrant buying new dress shoes (ones I can wear to work that is) I have to be able to get the shoes off quickly OR be able to run in them...
6) I am often OCD about things... how pictures are organized/stored, photo albums, how the dishwasher is loaded or groceries loaded into the buggy...
7) I feel lost without my day planner, especially at work!!!!
8) I rode in my first (and only so far) horse back riding competition on "my horse" Paul in 2006
9) I'm easily startled, frightened, or scared... yet I LOVE haunted houses and scary movies!
10) Big surprise here... I'm a sap...
11) I still sleep with a stuffed animal (or my squishy pillow)
12) I love to read! In January I read at least 10 books (including the Twilight trilogy!)
13) I love to take pictures!!! I SOOOO should have been a photographer!
14) I still communicate with some of my friends from elementary school frequently (Ana, Annie, Crys, Jami) and even some of my closest friends from middle school (Sasha, Kristin, Lesli)
15) Over a period of 2 weeks, I traveled to/through 7 different countries (not counting the US)
16) I am often described upon first impression as being bubbly, personable, and happy.
17) Sometimes it is easier for me to express myself through writing when I am upset or angry/frustrated
18) My "mom" Ronda is the reason I am a Speech-Language Pathologist today
19) One of my nicknames is "MeMe" because Ana couldn't say "MEANIE" when she started talking (thanks Blake!!!)
20) I love outdoor activities (when it isn't TOO cold or TOO hot or TOO humid) like camping, hiking, easy rock climbing, target shooting, horseback riding, ATVing, and athletics (non-competitive)
21) I would love to have 2 or 3 children some day
22) I have been known to answer the phone in my sleep and talk to the person calling me without waking up...
23) I am making the choice each and every day to be a better person, to be a better listener, more patient, and to find the good things in every situation I am in
24) I enjoy watching HOUSE and GREY'S ANATOMY although I am incredibly behind on the current season
25) I save EVERYTHING... dried flowers, ticket stubs, cards, notes, emails... especially from people that are special to me!

Interview

My interview…

So I agreed to be interviewed by my friend/cousin Annie.

1)What are the three best things about your job?
Three best things about my job as a school based speech therapist would have to be getting to work with children and watching them make progress, learning more about disabilities and how to be more effective in the classroom and more about different styles of learning and teaching, and all the chances that I get on a daily basis to practice being more patient!

2)What is my favorite beverage of choice?
There are a few beverages of choice in my life… if I am going with soda, it would have to be Dr. Pepper or Slice/Sprite/Sierra Mist. I am trying to make sure I only have one of these beverages a day. I also have a fondness for water with lemon, or rather as my friends would say, I like my water WITH my lemons!

3)What nicknames have you had over the years? – Let me think on this… I have been called many things since I was a kid. I think the most popular
choices have been:
 Trace  MeMe  Acey  Piglet  Trace-a-me  Traylynn  Princess

4)What top 5 blessings has God given you in your life?
God has given me a lot in my life to be thankful and I am a very blessed person. It is hard to pick only 5 blessings!!!
My nieces – Misti, Syrina, and Kenzie
My family – my parents, grandma, and my extended family
My friends – there are too many to name
The chance to receive a higher education at a wonderful institution
Relationships – I know that they can be rocky and difficult but you learn from each. My most recent relationship, as much as it has killed me to have it end the way it did, was actually a blessing to me and I continue to pray that it will continue to be a blessing in the future. (Read that as the relationship was and continues to be a blessing NOT the relationship ending being a blessing)

5)What is your most embarrassing moment?
Oh wow… I am easily embarrassed so this is difficult to determine where to start. I could start with my father and his crew jumping out of the bushes at UCAT after my first winter formal in high school so that they could escort me to my mom’s car… or my dad’s entire fire station taking turns to drive past the hotel my friends and I were staying after prom my Sr year to keep tabs on me… Or the time I completely forgot my lines in our church Christmas program and I asked what my next line was supposed to be (didn’t help that I had already started using lines from another scene prior to asking for help)… And last but not least... falling (literally) down the stairs at the PAC from the top of the Mezannine to the very bottom when Ethan and I went to see The Phantom of the Opera!

Thanks Annie for the questions!!! I enjoyed thinking back on the different experiences in my life!!!

My baby...

Last year in April I decided to trade in my beloved 2002 Acura TL-S for a newer car... one that I thought would be better for me... get better gas mileage... have a warranty... won't have to worry about mechanical problems... so mom and I went looking at new cars... I knew that I liked E's sleek (and in his own words) and sexy black Civic Coupe and I knew that it got decent gas mileage (a lot better than my beautiful Acura!!!)... so off to the Honda dealerships we went!

I pulled off Don Carlton's lot on Thursday, April 3, 2008 with my very own, BRAND SPANKING NEW, sparkly, sleek AND sexy (much sexier than E's black car...) silvery blue Civic. Much to my chagrin there was a freak hail storm that following Monday night... which left me with just about $7000 worth of hail damage that couldn't be taken care of with the oh so convenient dentless repair... it required that my hood, top of the car, AND trunk be replaced along with other parts AND be repainted... Before I could get the hail damage repaired I realized that my car was having mechanical problems. Once again I took my car into the shop to be told that it was all in my head and that the problem didn't exist because the mechanics couldn't repeat the problem... Then just before school started back up I had a mechanical problem with my car. YEAH... notice the streak I have going here... I had to have my fuel pump replaced (under warranty) which did fix part of my previous mechanical problem from the Spring.

WELL... tonight my baby and I apparently were not meant to drive into Tulsa to see the Twilight movie. Driving toward Hwy 20 tonight I was be-bopping to my music on the radio and suddenly I see 2 deer on the side of the road, so I start to slow down... thinking that they would turn and run back into the field like normal. Only to have them both step into the road, I slammed on my brakes and automatically slammed on my horn at the same time... only to have one deer try to fake me out and ultimately hit my car.

I will post pictures once it is daylight and I can see the damage...

On my feet again

Hey everyone out there in bloggerland that may or may not read my blog... As you know, I have been doing a lot of self-reflecting about my life and my habits. Many people have commented to me on facebook, myspace and here that I don't need to change, I am a wonderful person... even E has told me that I am a great person... but I am not changing for HIM! I want everyone to know that up front...I am wanting to change to be a better ME FOR ME!!!!

I have realized a lot of about me. I don't want to sound conceited or vain, because that is definitely not my intent... I am a very sweet and caring person. I tend to put others needs in front of my own. I go out of my way to help those that matter the most to me, my family and close friends. I am helpful and honest. I typically say what I am thinking, and sometimes to a fault. I am outgoing, almost always cheerful (except at the wee crack of dawn hours) and I try to see the sunnyside of situations. I know I am bubbly, sometimes annoyingly bubbly and perky... but that is me... I am chatty and childish... I like to be tucked in by that special someone and kissed good night before falling asleep. I still sleep with a stuffed animal or at least have something in my arms when I fall asleep (at least a pillow or blanket)... I am goofy and like to try new things, at least MOST things...

In the last few weeks I have realized that I have gotten into a bad habit of cutting people off, putting my needs first in conversations, not asking about others until I am finished with my thoughts... As I so sweetly was told the other night, I need to remember my SUMMARY button and use it more often...

I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers these past few weeks. I know that they are what has helped me make it through this trying time in my life. I ask that you continue to pray for both myself and E to be able to let go of past hurts and be able to continue to talk to each other and move past this hurdle in our lives. We both need the prayers.

THANK you Annie for your support and words of wisdom. I am doin my best to follow your advice because it is sooooo accurate and right on! And THANK YOU Aunt Kim and "Mom" Ronda for both being here for me. E commented the other day on the three of you being so right about me from your posts on facebook, on here, and in person.

Putting my life back together...

I am trying to get my life back together again. After having my world, my hopes, my dreams all thrown up in the air last week, I am striving to be me again. I have been reflecting on my behavior and on the things that were said to me last week. I see what he was saying on several counts and I know that these concerns that he shared are concerns that I don't want linked to me.

I don't want people to think that I am a rude and impolite person. I want people to see me for the person I am. The person who will go out of her way to help others in need and will do anything for my family. I know that I can not change for someone else, or that I shouldn't change specifically for another person. Changing for a person isn't a true change, it is a temporary fix that will eventually unravel. I want to change for me, for my well-being. I am not trying to say that I am an awful or horrible person. I know that I am a good person, I have been reassured of this quite frequently in the past few days... I am just saying that I know that I have room for growth in my life... I want to be a better person, I want to be healthier- eat healthier, workout more, attempt to start jogging again... I want to clean up my language, I have gotten into a bad habit of letting unclean or inappropriate words creep into my vocabulary recently. I want to become a better listener and learn to see things from others perspectives, and recognize when I need to "check" my ego at the door and be willing to look at other perspectives. I need to show the ones that I love that I love them ALL the time, tell them that I am proud of them, bring them up, not break them down. I need to give space when it is needed and when it isn't requested. I can't smother someone with my love, nor can I "dump" all my problems and stress on that person without regards of their personal stresses and stressors. When I do "dump" my stresses, I need to be sure to try to help relieve some of his stresses or be assistive in relieving him of his stresses. I need to show my patient side in ALL areas of life, not just some.

My feelings haven't changed. I still love him with all my heart. I know that we are opposites in many areas, however, the more I think about us, we fit like a glove. He is calm, laid-back, goes with the flow, spontaneous, whereas I am the more high-strung, planner who can be spontaneous but I like to have an idea at least an hour in advance. He brings comfort and serenity to me and shows me how to be more serene and a better person. We are both open minded and easy going. We both love to laugh and hang out with our families and our friends. He likes Japanese anime and manga, LOVES playing soccer and jogging, ENJOYS playing video games and computer games. Me, I like outdoor activities, play video games to an extent, watch sports and read books. I have learned that we have different ways of handling situations and usually we agree that there is more than one way to handle any given situation. We can talk to each other and see other points of view, and we can talk through just about any discussion or dsiagreement. We both may not like to watch racing or sci-fi... but we have lots to offer together.

I am not completely giving up hope on him, nor am I wanting to make excuses for him. I know that if he makes the decision that it is not good for us to date permanently that he is the one losing the best thing that ever happened to him. I know that I will eventually move on and past this if that does occur. I am not hoping that it does, please don't read into that line like this... I want to be with him. I love him not for who he is, but for who I am when I am with him... I love how I feel when he just reaches over, takes my hand, kisses it and goes back to work... or how he will just look up from working on the computer, wink and me and smile and go back to work, as if he just wants to make sure I am still there. The little things that he does to show that he cares, the little things that I took for granted and now I miss tremendously.

I saw a quote today that read something to the effect of, "The worst kind of missing someone is when you are sitting next to them and know you can't have them." That is where I am right now... I see him online and yet I am trying to keep from messaging him... I am dying to call him to see how his day went and how much progress he made... what good things happened in his life today, what has worried him... It is the worst kind of missing someone when they are right at your fingertips and you can't have them...

The start of a new year

2009 didn't start quite the way I had planned to be honest with you all... I had pictured me and Ethan together on New Years Eve hanging out with his siblings and their significant others... kissing at midnight... just having a good time... INSTEAD... I was at home with my nieces and he was with his siblings and their significant others... we were both miserable and lonely, and not feeling well...

You see... we broke up on Tuesday. This came as a shock to me, a huge shock... my world was turned upside down. To think that a little disagreement on how one should have reacted to the other could turn into this. Well it did...

I have been doing some serious reflecting on my life and who I am. I know some things I want to improve upon in my life, not for him, for me. Although, it would benefit him as it would improve our relationship and our communication. I don't normally make new year's resolutions... they always seem to be broken, and I am very adamant on not making a promise that I can't keep. But this year I did make a resolution.

I want to be a better person. I want to do this by: being healthier, trying new things, working out more, communicating my thoughts and my needs in a better way, being more positive about situations, being a better Christian, and a better listener.

Pray for me as I start out making these changes in my life and be supportive of me in this quest to be a better person. Also pray for me and Ethan, we both need all the thoughts and prayers we can get.

Chicken Noodle Soup Gone Bad

So I decided that I wanted to make chicken noodle soup for dinner tonight for myself and my studying boyfriend... what could be better to eat on a COLD night??? So I set about at the grocery store getting the supplies, braved the 15 degree temps outside and the slightly icy conditions on the road to Ethan's house from my parents. I get to Ethan's house and start making chicken noodle soup, all while remembering the time when I made chicken noodle soup in Texas...

Let me digress briefly on the Texas disaster... I thought I was being such an adult and making homemade chicken noodle soup the way my grandma and mom did... all was going well on my FIRST EVER batch of soup, until... Jonathan and Amanda come over to eat with us... and Amanda was the lucky person who found the popper in her soup!!! Who knew that some chickens have the red popper things that turkeys have!!!! Obviously, I didn't!!!

Ok back to tonight. I put the chicken in the hige stock pot, add the broth, seasonings and some more water, cover the soup and go lie down for half an hour with Ethan... suddenly I hear Nate scraping something metal and hearing water running... yea, silly me, I forgot to lift the chicken up after adding the broth and the bottom of the chicken was starting to get nice and on the road to burnt... so after Nate rescued the chicken all went well... we got the chicken out of the pot, tore it up, added the noodles... let that all simmer... ate a bowl of it, decided it was great... then started to smell something burning, kinda like burnt popcorn... Ethan and I both jumped up from our spots on the couches with our computers and dashed into the kitchen to find smoke starting to roll out from under the lid of the stock pot. Yea, I managed to successfully have a SMOKED flavor to my soup!!!!

Thankful...

I am thankful for sooo many things in my life... I wish I were as creative as Annie who uses different size fonts and different fonts in her blogs...

I am thankful for mom ~ dad ~ the girls ~ my memories ~ my wonderful boyfriend ~ my friends ~ my extended Blakemore-Reynolds-Sisler family ~ love ~ happiness ~ safety ~ security ~ freedom ~ life ~ health ~ the future ~ my job

Thank you to everyone who is apart of my life and who has helped to shape me into the woman that I am today.

November... what a month...

What a month this has been... I officially moved out of my apartment on Nov. 1/2 with the intentions of moving into my grandma's house... which didn't happen. As of 8:oo pm on Nov. 18, most of my stuff is in boxes stacked up in my grandma's living room and the rest is stacked up in storage in Skiatook. I have most of my clothes over at a friend's house where I can crash when I can't crash with Ethan. And I am house-bouncing. It has been interesting to say the least!!!

Other activities going on in my life this month. Ethan WANTED to go to the Caravan to dance the other night, and was actually very disappointed when I turned him down because I was so tired from having an extended bout with a sinus infection for the last 8 weeks. So what does he do??? He tells me he wants to go to the TU/ORU basketball game on campus. Once again I tell him that I am tired and would love to go but I need my rest... he buys tickets anyway and we go to the game... the first TU/ORU game since I was a student!! I enjoyed the game and I had to laugh at the serious to almost mean looks that Coaches Scott and Tom have on their faces while coaching!!! To think that these two mean are the kindest and most loving dads on the planet!! But they look so MAD on the court! (I mean that in the nicest way possible)

Happy Halloween!!!

This year I actually got to go over to Grandma Ida's house to see all of the cousins in their adorable costumes!!! The last time I did this, I am afraid to say, Ana was probably only 4 years old????

We had a crazy time at the house as usual!!! It never ceases to amaze me how we can all fit inside Gran I's house at one time and not be crawling on top of each other! But I guess it goes to show that just like your heart grows to love each and every child in your life, your house will grow as well to accommodate them!!! Ethan agreed to come over and meet the rest of my "family" since hadn't met anyone other than Tom, Ronda, Blake and Ana. I honestly don't think that he knew what he was getting himself into when he agreed to come over!!!

The Hankins-Sutton clan on great Gran's swing!!!! This is an annual tradition to take a picture on the swing on Halloween for Uncle (well I call him Uncle at least, they call him Papa) Jim.

Even Uncle Jim got into the spirit of the holiday and had Kimbo paint his hair orange too!!!!

Cousins Luke and Lauren looking so sweet and cute! Luke was Indiana Jones (so fitting for him!) and Lauren was a fairy pumpkin (very fitting for her!!!)

Lauren by herself...

Luke by himself... with Lauren dancing in the background...

After we left Gran I's house we met up with my nieces!!! Syrina decided to NOT dress up this year, apparently at 14 she feels like she is "too old" to dress up...

Kenzie Ann as a cute witch...

Me as a black cat with pink stripes in my hair and the "teenager" so cleverly dressed up...

Me and the girls... gotta love the look on Kenzie's face!!!!

She is looking MUCH happier now!!!

Who ME????

We had the cutest trick-or-treater ever come over, but she wasn't big enough to enjoy the candy so we just held her instead... Olivia was a cute pumpkin, her mommy Whitney was a jack-o-lantern and her daddy was a pumpkin patch!!!!

Here is the Serio family.. See the adorable lil' pumpkin that came to Trick-Or-Treat with us???

Deep in the HEART of Texas...

Hello from Texas! Here are a few of the pictures that were taken this past weekend of me and lil' guy Ty... I had a blast down here these past few days... He is quite a character... all full of smiles and giggles... has found his feet and wants to show them to everyone!!! He is so sweet, as most babies are known to be. I have totally enjoyed him these past 2 days!! I am going to be so sad when I come home to Tulsa and don't get to see him for a few more months!!!

Tyler was flirting with his wonderful auntie Tracey! Look at that cute smile!!! He is so playful and silly!

So sweet sleeping in his swing. Children are so angelic when they sleep!

On other news, I went to the school that I first taught and saw a few of my students today. It was great to see my kids and see the progress that they have made!!!!

Frustrations

It feels like no matter what we do, it turns out to be not enough or we should have done something different in the past... Case in point... the divorce... We had a sneaking suspicion that my ex-sis-in-law had her boyfriend living at the house with her, however, we couldn't prove it, and she denied it when questioned about it so there was nothing we could have done... so when my brother filed to get more time with the girls, we did everything we needed to do to prove that this FELON (explain more later) was living in the house AGAINST the divorce decree that specifically states that NO MALE WILL LIVE IN THE HOUSE WITHOUT BEING MARRIED or something along those lines... so we are basically told that we have to deal with it and move on, prove it later... yet today, later, we are told that we knew about it from the get go and that since we had known from the get go nothing had changed... and we didn't do more then to change the situation...

There is more but I won't go into it now. I have some information from my parents but I am sure that I will get more in the days to come. It is just frustrating to know that my precious nieces are living with a known FELON in their house, and that his TEENAGE son is sharing a room with my little niece when he stays over... that the FELON is consistently drinking in front of the girls and is not putting forth his best effort to show the girls how to be the best that you can be. It is frustrating to know that every chance that they have, their OTHER grandparents are degrading us to the girls and trying to convince the girls that we are not their family and other lies. We know this because my little niece has told us as much, she can't keep anything from us (wow she really does take after me!)... it is hard to sit back and watch knowing that these precious children deserve better and that they could get better... if the lawyers would just do what they are supposed to do when they are supposed to do it...

Please keep my family in your prayers. My brother is pretty hurt by this ruling, he was really hoping for a better outcome, at least joint-parenting with 50-50 custody... instead of Friday after school until school on Monday morning on his weekends... this is a blow to him right now... but there are still things that we CAN do to make life better for these two angels and to help them to be better people.