Moving On...

So many of you know, Ethan and I broke up almost 3 months ago... he told me that I needed to do what was best for me... to do for me... I must admit that dating was NOT at the top of my list of things to do for me... getting out and meeting new guys that could potentially break my heart didn't even make it on my list!!! The things that made it on my list were to get out and do more things with my friends, to see my cousins and do things with them, to work on my scrapbooks and quilt, to get to know me and figure out who I am without a guy to define me, and to continue to work on making the daily decision to be a better me! All of these things I had been doing, and doing well I think... until...

In January after my not so cryptic "life sucks" posts on both Myspace and facebook, one of my friends from high school was quick to inquire about what was going on in my life. Note that this is a guy that I was acquainted with him high school, but definitely didn't hang out together much, if at all... but we reconnected at our 10 year reunion... it was at this point that he and I started to talk about what was going on in both of our lives, coincidentally, he and his girlfriend had just broken up as well, ironically enough! So for the month of January up until about my birthday, we leaned on each other and helped the other deal with the pain of having lost a loved one without so much a DECENT reason. We both felt that our relationships could have been saved if both parties put forth the effort and that they were worth saving. Around my birthday things started to change... we started to build more of a friendship and we started to talk more about things we both liked and less about the EX's... we even started to flirt with each other...

Fast forward to March. He came home to visit his family, and subsequently me... I was very skeptical about seeing him when he came home, partially why I wanted to hang out with him with other friends at first rather than alone. Skeptical you say... yes, he is male... male's tend to have minds of their own and intentions that they keep to themselves... but alas, we went out with one of my best-close girlfriends and her guy that first night and we hit it off. We couldn't stop laughing and smiling and I even think that at one point in the evening, we were in our own world and totally forgot that Val and her guy were at the same table as the two of us! After that night, we saw each other for at least an hour every day he was home... the picture at top is after we went to dinner one night before he went back to Colorado.

So I guess it is official, I am starting to move on. I do care immensely for Ethan and I do wish him the best in all that he strives to achieve. However, I have seen some interesting traits in him since we broke up that are making it easier for me to move on. Like him saying he wants to be friends with me, and yet he won't talk to me or see me... maybe that is his way of dealing with him pain, I don't know and I may never know. He will always have a special place in my heart and I will probably always care about him. Is that bridge burned you may ask? No, no bridge is ever completely burned (in my world that is, unless you do something to totally make me not ever want to see you or talk to you again) until I have said "I will" to a guy after receiving a proposal.

I'm moving past the hurt and the pain. I am starting to smile again and laugh. I am enjoying the warm and fuzzy feelings that I get from being around someone that is fun and easy going. I am NOT enjoying the 900 mile separation from the person that is making me smile and laugh so easily, but I will cross THAT bridge when we get there. For now, I am enjoying the ride of being infatuated (so to speak) with someone and getting to know them better and feeling like I am someone special and wonderful.

To the "mystery" guy in the picture. THANK YOU for helping me during that bleak time of my life just a few months ago and THANK YOU for your friendship, it means the world to me. Things happen for a reason, I am a FIRM BELIEVER in that and God has a plan for each of us. I truly believe that God puts people in our paths at times when he feels necessary and that there is a plan for us, whatever it may be. You have brought laughter and smiles back to my life. You have made me feel so carefree the past two weeks and feel like I am loved. I am very thankful that I got to spend as much time with you as I did last week and am looking forward to visiting soon in Colorado!