Reflections...

It is the new year and the perfect time to reflect on life and how things went in the last year and what we want in the upcoming year... so... here I go...

I am a very caring person who trusts instinctively and who tries to do whatever I can for other people... since Ian and I started dating and more recently got engaged, it has become more obvious to me that some of my "friends" are not as good for me as they seem... I have "friends" that say that they are happy for us and are supportive of our relationship, but don't show it... We have some friends who are so in "shock" that we are getting married that it shows in remarks made on social networking sites. These are the people that I don't need in my life. I need people that are going to be supportive of me and my future. Supportive of the choices that I am making in my life and who actually care enough about me and our friendship to return calls and texts, who actually send an email just to see how things are going, not send mass emails as their way of "keeping in touch."

I know that I have plenty of friends that are supportive and encouraging of the choices that I am making and who truly want to be part of my life. For those that have not shown their best sides in the last 2 years, I am sorry that it has come to this, but I don't need people who pretend to be supportive of me and when I need you the most for support (be it during times of crisis or happiness) you are MIA or otherwise too busy to show your support. I need friends surrounding me that when they say they are excited about something they show it by actually returning calls/texts/emails, who actually want to take the time to see me when I am home, even for a quick trip... I need friends who aren't so wrapped up in their lives to remember to think of others.

For those of you who are those friends to me, thank you for your love, support and encouragement. I know that there are people out there that are not supportive of mine and Ian's upcoming marriage for various reasons, but we are getting married and we are happy about our upcoming union, so basically deal.

These are reflections from Tracey Barnes... soon to be Stiller

What a week it was!

Last week was quite a week!!! My good friend from Tulsa sent me a text asking me if I was interested in going with her to the Colorado Rockies game and staying the night with her. Being a fan of baseball, I agreed to make the voyage across the state from Aspen to Denver to see Sasha on Wednesday. This was my FIRST SOLO adventure, just me and Sammi... for 288 miles! We made it to Superior safely and onto the game without a hitch.

The score board at the baseball stadium. I didn't take many pictures (shock I know) but I was having fun catching up with one of my favorite childhood friends!!!

The next day I left Superior but not before making a very important pitstop at the local Michael's for more scrapbooking paper... then onto Breckenridge to see Ian!!! We decided to meet at "our place" in Breckenridge for a few days to get away from the real world. We met at the Lodge and had a great two nights there in town.

THEN... on Saturday when we drove home I thought that someone had it in for me... I had not one but THREE cars try to change into my lane and car without so much as looking in their mirrors to see if there happened to be anyone nearby...

I have never been so happy to be home again... in one piece...

Random Summer Fun

So far this summer at home has been fun! I have watched Ana and swam with her some as well as gotten together with some of my friends!!! I can't believe how much Ana's skills have improved! That girl has some talent when it comes to swimming!!!! She is such a hoot to watch jump into the pool off of the diving board. She likes to make up dances and such as she comes down the board until she jumps!!! Here I am watching her from the swing the other day...


Saturday I was blessed with the chance to see one of my best-good girlfriends and hang out poolside at her parents house. We had a good time as usual and caught up on our guys! It is so great that we are both in love AND with such amazing guys!!!! I love ya Val!!!

And last but not least... my babies... yes my family grew the last time I visited Ian in Colorado... Growing up, my grandma had these plants called Hen and Chicks that I watered religiously and helped her replant as needed. When I moved away to Texas, she sent a few of them to me in a pretty yellow pot. Well, when I moved home after her passing, I (ignorantly) left the plant in Texas on the back patio. So... while at the nursery with Ian one day I commented on how much I loved those plants and how I would like to have my own. Ian suggested I get a plant or two of my own to care for in Colorado. So... I did!!! We now have our own hen and chick family, two hens and about 5 chicks! He is a good daddy and hasn't starved them off water and I have been a negligent mommy and abandoned them with their daddy for 3 weeks...

Moving On...

So many of you know, Ethan and I broke up almost 3 months ago... he told me that I needed to do what was best for me... to do for me... I must admit that dating was NOT at the top of my list of things to do for me... getting out and meeting new guys that could potentially break my heart didn't even make it on my list!!! The things that made it on my list were to get out and do more things with my friends, to see my cousins and do things with them, to work on my scrapbooks and quilt, to get to know me and figure out who I am without a guy to define me, and to continue to work on making the daily decision to be a better me! All of these things I had been doing, and doing well I think... until...

In January after my not so cryptic "life sucks" posts on both Myspace and facebook, one of my friends from high school was quick to inquire about what was going on in my life. Note that this is a guy that I was acquainted with him high school, but definitely didn't hang out together much, if at all... but we reconnected at our 10 year reunion... it was at this point that he and I started to talk about what was going on in both of our lives, coincidentally, he and his girlfriend had just broken up as well, ironically enough! So for the month of January up until about my birthday, we leaned on each other and helped the other deal with the pain of having lost a loved one without so much a DECENT reason. We both felt that our relationships could have been saved if both parties put forth the effort and that they were worth saving. Around my birthday things started to change... we started to build more of a friendship and we started to talk more about things we both liked and less about the EX's... we even started to flirt with each other...

Fast forward to March. He came home to visit his family, and subsequently me... I was very skeptical about seeing him when he came home, partially why I wanted to hang out with him with other friends at first rather than alone. Skeptical you say... yes, he is male... male's tend to have minds of their own and intentions that they keep to themselves... but alas, we went out with one of my best-close girlfriends and her guy that first night and we hit it off. We couldn't stop laughing and smiling and I even think that at one point in the evening, we were in our own world and totally forgot that Val and her guy were at the same table as the two of us! After that night, we saw each other for at least an hour every day he was home... the picture at top is after we went to dinner one night before he went back to Colorado.

So I guess it is official, I am starting to move on. I do care immensely for Ethan and I do wish him the best in all that he strives to achieve. However, I have seen some interesting traits in him since we broke up that are making it easier for me to move on. Like him saying he wants to be friends with me, and yet he won't talk to me or see me... maybe that is his way of dealing with him pain, I don't know and I may never know. He will always have a special place in my heart and I will probably always care about him. Is that bridge burned you may ask? No, no bridge is ever completely burned (in my world that is, unless you do something to totally make me not ever want to see you or talk to you again) until I have said "I will" to a guy after receiving a proposal.

I'm moving past the hurt and the pain. I am starting to smile again and laugh. I am enjoying the warm and fuzzy feelings that I get from being around someone that is fun and easy going. I am NOT enjoying the 900 mile separation from the person that is making me smile and laugh so easily, but I will cross THAT bridge when we get there. For now, I am enjoying the ride of being infatuated (so to speak) with someone and getting to know them better and feeling like I am someone special and wonderful.

To the "mystery" guy in the picture. THANK YOU for helping me during that bleak time of my life just a few months ago and THANK YOU for your friendship, it means the world to me. Things happen for a reason, I am a FIRM BELIEVER in that and God has a plan for each of us. I truly believe that God puts people in our paths at times when he feels necessary and that there is a plan for us, whatever it may be. You have brought laughter and smiles back to my life. You have made me feel so carefree the past two weeks and feel like I am loved. I am very thankful that I got to spend as much time with you as I did last week and am looking forward to visiting soon in Colorado!

Has it REALLY been 10 years?

Can it be that we have really been away from the HIVE for 10 years???? It seems like just yesterday we were roaming the halls of the delapitated Booker T... not a care in the world... definitely not caring that we couldn't drink the water from the fountains cause it wasn't clean... or that the walls in the foreign language hall were slowly moving toward the English wing...

We were HOPING for 50 classmates attending the reunion... I don't think that we ever DREAMED we would have 100 classmates register and attend the banquet!!!!

Here we are back at the HIVE for our 10 year reunion weekend festivities!!! As stressful as all the planning was... I definitely would be on the committee again!!!

All the Hornets at our Meet & Greet Registration Reception... we are all standing around the school seal in the front hall of the main building... otherwise known as being in the "Historic Building" to the current students! We had about 40 people turn out for the registration and tour of the NEW building...

The committee goofin around before the classmates appeared to register!

Me and Shanista... my "sista" and my saving grace during all the planning!

Some of the girls at Jewel on Friday night... we had a good turnout for our happy hour event on Friday night... about 70 people showed up at the Jewel to drink, dance and catch up!

Me and Val... one of my best girls even after 10 years!! My how time has flown by...

David and me... to think we were in the first grade together at Owen Elementary... and now look at us... :)

Me and Ethan!!! Aren't we a cute couple!!!

The ladies of 1998!!!

Me and Val at the end of the night...


The reunion was a success... the technical difficulties that we experiences didn't phase the rest of the reunion attendees... praise be for that! We did have some minor issues that we didn't expect pop up... but just like planning any event, such as a wedding or reunion, there is bound to have something happen... I must admit that my heart fell out of my chest when I clicked on the slideshow and nothing showed up but red X for all of my pictures! Luckily, I had my laptop with me and Ethan got that set up for me while we took our class picture!!!

HORNETS oh HORNETS...

We LOVE you so.... This weekend is my 10 year reunion from Booker T!!! I can't believe (well, yes, I actually can...) that we graduated 10 years ago! It doesn't seem like it was that long ago... but then again... they say that time flies when you are having fun!

I will post pictures of THEN and NOW after the reunion is over!

Toothless Friends!

What an exciting week we had last week! I watched Ana several days during the week and guess what happened!?!?!?! Her mommy went out of town and she FINALLY lost her tooth!!!! As promised, I took pictures for Ronda and here we see Ana smiling her toothless smile! She was very excited to show me that she lost her tooth while I was gone for the afternoon!!!!

Then a few days later while my nieces were over at the house playing with Ana, Kenzie lost her tooth that had been loose! So of course, Aunt Tracey being the good and wonderful aunt that she is, had to take pictures of the girls goofy grins together!!!

I can remember a time when Kenz was taller than Ana! Now Ana is taller than Kenz! The girls are so cute together! The bond that they have is very special! The two of them will probably always be good friends, kinda like Ana's cousin Jami and me!
Here the girls are posing in their ballet outfits! Yes we are at the age of dress up and dancing!!!

F is for... FRIENDS!!!

Friday night found me and Trevor getting all dressed up to go out to dinner with our friends Jenny and Scott. Jen and I got this brilliant idea a few months ago that it would be fun to get dressed up and go to dinner with the guys... since Scott and Jen are getting married next weekend (and I am coming home for a while...) we decided that there is no time better than the present to get dressed up for dinner!!! We decided to go to this quaint italian restaurant in Irving called Cafe Cipriani's. It is really good, I liked the atmosphere a lot!

Here is a picture of Scott, Jen, me, and Trevor after dinner. What fun we always have together!!!

Here is Jen and Scott together... he isn't the cameraphobe like some of us... so this picture was like pulling teeth to get him in!!!

We are two peas in a pod! Her dad says that I remind him of Jen when she was my age... look out world... there could very well be two of me out in the world!!!!

Trevor and his two blondes... what guy could ask for anymore????

More pictures to be posted later as our dinner guests have arrived and I think that we (hopefully) will be eating soon.

Friends

Trevor and I have some good friends here in Texas. Last year one of Trev's acquantances (he is technically a repeat customer but in a different way) was going to meet up with us at this event called "Taste Addison" (kinda like Tulsa's Mayfest, only in one area, with better food and music, and not as much stupidity- then again we left rather early if I recall...). He had just started to date this girl so he brought her along. Little did he know, she and I would hit it off! Since that evening Jen and I have been pretty much inseperable! To my parents relief, he got her a CINGULAR phone so that both his minutes and texts as well as mine would be safe from going over!!!!

These guys are great! We always have fun with them. The "boys" (as we sweetly refer to them) talk shop about airplanes, avionics, boats, and their RC helicopters, while we usually talk about anything and everything under the sun! Apparently I am Jen's twin when she was my age!!!

Here is a picture of Jen and Scott from when we went to see Larry the Cable Guy in Dallas between my Germany trip and cruise.
Here's me and Trevor... He wasn't really wanting to cooperate with the picture taking process.
We always have a good time when we are out with these two, which is just about every weekend and depending on the week a few times in the week!

It is good to have good friends that you can depend on!!! :) Thanks GUYS!!!

Photo Fun

The other night one of my good friends here in Texas and I went to have some pictures taken... we thought of having GlamourShots taken, but then decided to go with a different studio. Our requirements for the pictures were to be fun, flirty, and cute. My first set of pictures were the cowboy hat pictures. I figured that Trevor would love these pictures, only to find out that he (like myself) didn't like the fact that I had a black backdrop with a black shirt. But the pictures look good! We had a lot of fun that night, and hopefully the girls at the studio had fun as well!!!
This is one of my favorite pictures. Kinda reminds me of senior pictures! :)
This is me and Jen. We had pictures taken individually as well as together. We both liked this picture... this is how we usually are when we are together, heads together with smiles that make the guys wonder what we are planning next!!!!

Hope Elizabeth...

HOPE

E

L

I

Z

A

B

E

T

H

Isn't she a cutie!

These are pictures from "Anza's" recent visit to our house out in the "country." (It is the country in perspective of living in the middle of Ft. Worth!)

We had a great time playing with the new toys that I had bought earlier in the day and eating dinner. Hopey likes honeydew and she made Trevor share with her! Fun times were had by all, and we definitely missed Ryanie and his girl who were too busy studying for finals to take a break to drive out!!!! Maybe next time...

By the next time I am sure that lil' Miss Hopey will be running around the house getting into everything, not crawling at a speed in which we can catch her quickly!

Whose the goofiest??? I think Daddy won the contest for the goofiest by getting caught with his tongue sticking out by the camera!!! Hope had been sticking her tongue out at us, honestly...

Precious Hope

I had the pleasure of having ice cream with one of the most adorable little girls in Texas... it was nice to take a break from work to get a free ice cream from Ben & Jerry's with Audra and Hope. I can't believe how much Hope has grown!!! Isn't she just precious!!! Thanks Audra for meeting me!!!!