This month, I have had 3 friends have to say "good-bye" to very important people in their lives. Well I take that back, it is more than 3 friends, so I should say 3 families...
January started with a Hallelujah Moment for Gran I. The Reynolds/Blakemore families celebrated the rich and long life of Ida Pondarae Reynolds on January 3, 2011. Gran I was 99 years and 4 months old. She was an amazing woman and I feel blessed to have met her and to have had her in my life as a role model for 26 years. Her legacy will live on in her wonderful grandkids, great grandkids and GREAT GREAT grandkids who also had the joy of knowing her.
A week later, my friend from TU, Whitney Baab Bennett, along with her family said "good-bye for now" at a life celebration for her father. Whit's dad had battled cancer for a little over 2 years. That road was a long and arduous road for the entire Baab family. About the time that they thought that Bud was in remission another scan would state the opposite. Throughout the entire ordeal, the Baab family stood firm in their faith and knew that their father/husband/grandpa was in the hands of God.
This week, I saw on facebook that another of my close friends, Crystal Smith Lattimore, had lost her father. Having grown up at the Smith house throughout my childhood, I knew the pain that Crystal was feeling. Crystal and I were always super emotional and super close to our families. Like the Baab family dealing with cancer for 2 years, the Smith family has dealt with heart problems for the last 15 years or so. Through all the hospital visits and stays, Crystal and her wonderful mom, Lavetta, always stayed firm on their faith that Lonnie too would be taken care of by his Lord and Savior.
Although I haven't lost one of my parents, I think I have an idea how my friends are feeling right now. LOST... maybe not right now because they are unreeling from the adrenaline filled roller coaster of ups and downs and exhaustion from the last months of hospital stays, they will feel lost and alone sooner than later... I am impressed by the displays of faith that all the families mentioned above have shown through these times of trial.
I have had my faith renewed by the love and devotion shown by the families of the ones lost this month. I pray that they will continue to feel the calming presence of their loved ones when they hit bottom and start to grieve for their dad and grandma. I ask that my friends continue to pray for these families (Reynolds/Blakemore, Baab and Smith) for strength and comfort in the days and weeks to come.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Pining for the Good Ol' Days...
Who remembers the tv show "Cheers" where the opening song went something along the lines of "We all want to go where everyone knows your name..."
I pine for being in a place where everyone knows my name... and everyone worked together for a common cause, the common good of our students. I didn't realize what good thing I had at two of my former places of employment until the last 6 months. Let me start from the beginning...
Fort Worth... my first job after college. My first year was full of struggles, what person has an easy first year teaching right? I had teachers say that they didn't think that I was a professional because I was young... I was inexperienced... I was new to the state and/or district... I was the same age as their children, and Lord knows that their grown children are NOT professionals... but things worked out, I persevered. I made it a point to do my job and do the best I could at everything I did. I changed schools my second year for a position I was stoked to be offered! I was going to work at the Regional School for the Deaf in my district! I was going to put my love for working with children that are hearing impaired to use! Unbeknownst to me, my principal had other ideas for my future career... she made it a point to make my life a living HELL, literally. I moved back to my first school for my third and last year in Texas. I loved being back with my kids and with the staff that respected me and came to me for consultation, regardless of my "inexperience." I had an amazing support system in Ft. Worth... I could call any of the 70+ SLP's in our district for advice, had access to just about any standardized test or materials I could think of... had team members who wanted to help each other learn, grow and become better teachers. People who cared about each other and about the future of our kids... who worked together to come up with interventions to help our kids... who actually listened to other professionals when they asked for advice and suggestions.
After my grandma passed away, I decided I needed to be closer to my family. I was missing too much of my nieces lives. I got a job in Claremore. A SMALL town in comparison to Tulsa or Fort Worth! The district superintendent knew each of the teachers that worked for him and he personally signed each contract, not a stamp used by a secretary! The staff at my school was (and still is) AMAZING! The Zebra family was just that... a FAMILY. Everyone supported the other and truly were friends and professionals. I am still friends with most of the staff that I worked with in Claremore. Our building oozed professionalism, friendship, loyalty, and unity. We were ALL Zebras, from preschool to 4th grade. We all lived by the same code of conduct... from how we walked in the halls to behavior in the cafeteria.
Then I moved to Colorado... I am still searching for a home where I feel like I am part of the professional community as well as part of the family. Last year in the Aspen Valley I was trusted about as far as my students could throw me professionally speaking. My every recommendation was questioned and doubted by teachers, parents and my supervisors. Leaving the valley was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life... which brings us to the present day...
When I was hired for my current job I was excited! I had a principal who was young and enthusiastic about her job and teaching. The district was going about teaching students in a new way... rather than focusing on grades they were looking at what level the kids are working at and filling those gaps and moving the kids up through various academic levels. The downside to this plan is that the classroom teacher is still responsible for teaching grade level materials and state standards as well as the various level learning targets, which may or may not be on grade level. As an SLP, I have a broad scope and sequence for what I can teach. I can work on oral language, articulation, fluency, voice, reading comprehension, phonological awareness, oral comprehension and writing. When I say writing, I am referring to the parts of writing such as the grammar, semantics, and structure, NOT the formation of handwriting... I wish I could say that I am as stoked about this position as I was 4 months ago... I am becoming frustrated by the politics and lack of support, or at least the feeling of no-support from all levels.
When will I find my dream job? The one that I feel like I am accepted and am one of the family? The one where the other professionals support each other and trust the other? A job where I am able to do what I am trained to do and do best? Where I can support the various grade level teachers for literacy development? Where I can actually collaborate in the classroom and have teachers truly WANT me in their classroom for assistance???
Why can't I be a ZEBRA in Colorado with the material/assessment support from Fort Worth???
I pine for being in a place where everyone knows my name... and everyone worked together for a common cause, the common good of our students. I didn't realize what good thing I had at two of my former places of employment until the last 6 months. Let me start from the beginning...
Fort Worth... my first job after college. My first year was full of struggles, what person has an easy first year teaching right? I had teachers say that they didn't think that I was a professional because I was young... I was inexperienced... I was new to the state and/or district... I was the same age as their children, and Lord knows that their grown children are NOT professionals... but things worked out, I persevered. I made it a point to do my job and do the best I could at everything I did. I changed schools my second year for a position I was stoked to be offered! I was going to work at the Regional School for the Deaf in my district! I was going to put my love for working with children that are hearing impaired to use! Unbeknownst to me, my principal had other ideas for my future career... she made it a point to make my life a living HELL, literally. I moved back to my first school for my third and last year in Texas. I loved being back with my kids and with the staff that respected me and came to me for consultation, regardless of my "inexperience." I had an amazing support system in Ft. Worth... I could call any of the 70+ SLP's in our district for advice, had access to just about any standardized test or materials I could think of... had team members who wanted to help each other learn, grow and become better teachers. People who cared about each other and about the future of our kids... who worked together to come up with interventions to help our kids... who actually listened to other professionals when they asked for advice and suggestions.
After my grandma passed away, I decided I needed to be closer to my family. I was missing too much of my nieces lives. I got a job in Claremore. A SMALL town in comparison to Tulsa or Fort Worth! The district superintendent knew each of the teachers that worked for him and he personally signed each contract, not a stamp used by a secretary! The staff at my school was (and still is) AMAZING! The Zebra family was just that... a FAMILY. Everyone supported the other and truly were friends and professionals. I am still friends with most of the staff that I worked with in Claremore. Our building oozed professionalism, friendship, loyalty, and unity. We were ALL Zebras, from preschool to 4th grade. We all lived by the same code of conduct... from how we walked in the halls to behavior in the cafeteria.
Then I moved to Colorado... I am still searching for a home where I feel like I am part of the professional community as well as part of the family. Last year in the Aspen Valley I was trusted about as far as my students could throw me professionally speaking. My every recommendation was questioned and doubted by teachers, parents and my supervisors. Leaving the valley was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life... which brings us to the present day...
When I was hired for my current job I was excited! I had a principal who was young and enthusiastic about her job and teaching. The district was going about teaching students in a new way... rather than focusing on grades they were looking at what level the kids are working at and filling those gaps and moving the kids up through various academic levels. The downside to this plan is that the classroom teacher is still responsible for teaching grade level materials and state standards as well as the various level learning targets, which may or may not be on grade level. As an SLP, I have a broad scope and sequence for what I can teach. I can work on oral language, articulation, fluency, voice, reading comprehension, phonological awareness, oral comprehension and writing. When I say writing, I am referring to the parts of writing such as the grammar, semantics, and structure, NOT the formation of handwriting... I wish I could say that I am as stoked about this position as I was 4 months ago... I am becoming frustrated by the politics and lack of support, or at least the feeling of no-support from all levels.
When will I find my dream job? The one that I feel like I am accepted and am one of the family? The one where the other professionals support each other and trust the other? A job where I am able to do what I am trained to do and do best? Where I can support the various grade level teachers for literacy development? Where I can actually collaborate in the classroom and have teachers truly WANT me in their classroom for assistance???
Why can't I be a ZEBRA in Colorado with the material/assessment support from Fort Worth???
Sunday, January 02, 2011
Our "lil man" Buddy
In October we adopted our son, Buddy. Kodi needed a playmate when my parents left with Zoe so we went on a search to find a friend for her... after deciding to save our money and keep looking we went to a bridal show and on the way home stopped at the pet store in the local mall. Little did we know we would leave with our son... Buddy was then a 5 month old Yorkie trapped in a little cage all by himself while all the other puppies were being looked at because they were between 8-10 weeks old... Here are some of our first few days with our growing family...
Introducing Buddy to Kodi... She wasn't too sure of him and vice versa!
Sisterly love... Kodi giving Buddy some puppy kisses to show that she loved her new brother!
His toy was almost as big as him! 
Sleepy time... our dogs love to snuggle up together!!! Even the first night we brought him home!
He even likes to snuggle with momma... although at the point of this picture he was almost sitting on my head!
Our little Mini-Benji!!!Reflections...
It is the new year and the perfect time to reflect on life and how things went in the last year and what we want in the upcoming year... so... here I go...
I am a very caring person who trusts instinctively and who tries to do whatever I can for other people... since Ian and I started dating and more recently got engaged, it has become more obvious to me that some of my "friends" are not as good for me as they seem... I have "friends" that say that they are happy for us and are supportive of our relationship, but don't show it... We have some friends who are so in "shock" that we are getting married that it shows in remarks made on social networking sites. These are the people that I don't need in my life. I need people that are going to be supportive of me and my future. Supportive of the choices that I am making in my life and who actually care enough about me and our friendship to return calls and texts, who actually send an email just to see how things are going, not send mass emails as their way of "keeping in touch."
I know that I have plenty of friends that are supportive and encouraging of the choices that I am making and who truly want to be part of my life. For those that have not shown their best sides in the last 2 years, I am sorry that it has come to this, but I don't need people who pretend to be supportive of me and when I need you the most for support (be it during times of crisis or happiness) you are MIA or otherwise too busy to show your support. I need friends surrounding me that when they say they are excited about something they show it by actually returning calls/texts/emails, who actually want to take the time to see me when I am home, even for a quick trip... I need friends who aren't so wrapped up in their lives to remember to think of others.
For those of you who are those friends to me, thank you for your love, support and encouragement. I know that there are people out there that are not supportive of mine and Ian's upcoming marriage for various reasons, but we are getting married and we are happy about our upcoming union, so basically deal.
These are reflections from Tracey Barnes... soon to be Stiller
Saturday, January 01, 2011
2010... oh what a year... 2011... I welcome you!
What a year 2010 was! I finished my first year teaching in Colorado and changed jobs as a solution to my stressful and unhappy situation. I moved myself and Ian across the state for a new job that I was incredibly excited about... Ian and I got engaged on a very spur of the moment moment! We started planning our wedding and have had a lot of success with planning our wedding...
There has been a lot of heartache and worry in 2010... my extended family (the Blakemore/Reynolds family) endured more pain, heartache and stress than one family should have to in a lifetime and somehow still managed to end the year with a smile on their faces and celebrations of the life of a very special woman who went on to heaven on Dec. 30, 2010.
Yes, our dear and precious Grandma Ida went on to heaven to be with her Lord and Savior after 99 years on this earth. I am heartbroken, as I never thought of life without her, but I am happy that she is no longer suffering and in pain and that she is in God's hands now. I am saddened that she passed away on the day that Ian and I left to drive back to Colorado after an extended stay in Tulsa.
2011 promises to be an amazing year... We are finishing our wedding plans and will be married on my late Grandma Alan's birthday... discussions are already taking place on when we want to go on our honeymoon and where... not to mention when we want to start a family... our growing family with Kodi and Buddy... potentially a new car for me (I need something that we can put the dogs in when we travel)... and making life changes for the positive...
Pray for us as we continue to grow and make plans for our wedding... and as Ian attempts to stop smoking and drinking any alcohol... (I am thinking that I should not ask him to make me drinks now...) and for making new friends and realizing, although painful as it is, that not all of my friends are good for me.
Welcome 2011... I look forward to eventually posting pictures and updates on my goals of 101 things to do in 1001 days...
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