Interview

My interview…

So I agreed to be interviewed by my friend/cousin Annie.

1)What are the three best things about your job?
Three best things about my job as a school based speech therapist would have to be getting to work with children and watching them make progress, learning more about disabilities and how to be more effective in the classroom and more about different styles of learning and teaching, and all the chances that I get on a daily basis to practice being more patient!

2)What is my favorite beverage of choice?
There are a few beverages of choice in my life… if I am going with soda, it would have to be Dr. Pepper or Slice/Sprite/Sierra Mist. I am trying to make sure I only have one of these beverages a day. I also have a fondness for water with lemon, or rather as my friends would say, I like my water WITH my lemons!

3)What nicknames have you had over the years? – Let me think on this… I have been called many things since I was a kid. I think the most popular
choices have been:
 Trace  MeMe  Acey  Piglet  Trace-a-me  Traylynn  Princess

4)What top 5 blessings has God given you in your life?
God has given me a lot in my life to be thankful and I am a very blessed person. It is hard to pick only 5 blessings!!!
My nieces – Misti, Syrina, and Kenzie
My family – my parents, grandma, and my extended family
My friends – there are too many to name
The chance to receive a higher education at a wonderful institution
Relationships – I know that they can be rocky and difficult but you learn from each. My most recent relationship, as much as it has killed me to have it end the way it did, was actually a blessing to me and I continue to pray that it will continue to be a blessing in the future. (Read that as the relationship was and continues to be a blessing NOT the relationship ending being a blessing)

5)What is your most embarrassing moment?
Oh wow… I am easily embarrassed so this is difficult to determine where to start. I could start with my father and his crew jumping out of the bushes at UCAT after my first winter formal in high school so that they could escort me to my mom’s car… or my dad’s entire fire station taking turns to drive past the hotel my friends and I were staying after prom my Sr year to keep tabs on me… Or the time I completely forgot my lines in our church Christmas program and I asked what my next line was supposed to be (didn’t help that I had already started using lines from another scene prior to asking for help)… And last but not least... falling (literally) down the stairs at the PAC from the top of the Mezannine to the very bottom when Ethan and I went to see The Phantom of the Opera!

Thanks Annie for the questions!!! I enjoyed thinking back on the different experiences in my life!!!

My baby...

Last year in April I decided to trade in my beloved 2002 Acura TL-S for a newer car... one that I thought would be better for me... get better gas mileage... have a warranty... won't have to worry about mechanical problems... so mom and I went looking at new cars... I knew that I liked E's sleek (and in his own words) and sexy black Civic Coupe and I knew that it got decent gas mileage (a lot better than my beautiful Acura!!!)... so off to the Honda dealerships we went!

I pulled off Don Carlton's lot on Thursday, April 3, 2008 with my very own, BRAND SPANKING NEW, sparkly, sleek AND sexy (much sexier than E's black car...) silvery blue Civic. Much to my chagrin there was a freak hail storm that following Monday night... which left me with just about $7000 worth of hail damage that couldn't be taken care of with the oh so convenient dentless repair... it required that my hood, top of the car, AND trunk be replaced along with other parts AND be repainted... Before I could get the hail damage repaired I realized that my car was having mechanical problems. Once again I took my car into the shop to be told that it was all in my head and that the problem didn't exist because the mechanics couldn't repeat the problem... Then just before school started back up I had a mechanical problem with my car. YEAH... notice the streak I have going here... I had to have my fuel pump replaced (under warranty) which did fix part of my previous mechanical problem from the Spring.

WELL... tonight my baby and I apparently were not meant to drive into Tulsa to see the Twilight movie. Driving toward Hwy 20 tonight I was be-bopping to my music on the radio and suddenly I see 2 deer on the side of the road, so I start to slow down... thinking that they would turn and run back into the field like normal. Only to have them both step into the road, I slammed on my brakes and automatically slammed on my horn at the same time... only to have one deer try to fake me out and ultimately hit my car.

I will post pictures once it is daylight and I can see the damage...

On my feet again

Hey everyone out there in bloggerland that may or may not read my blog... As you know, I have been doing a lot of self-reflecting about my life and my habits. Many people have commented to me on facebook, myspace and here that I don't need to change, I am a wonderful person... even E has told me that I am a great person... but I am not changing for HIM! I want everyone to know that up front...I am wanting to change to be a better ME FOR ME!!!!

I have realized a lot of about me. I don't want to sound conceited or vain, because that is definitely not my intent... I am a very sweet and caring person. I tend to put others needs in front of my own. I go out of my way to help those that matter the most to me, my family and close friends. I am helpful and honest. I typically say what I am thinking, and sometimes to a fault. I am outgoing, almost always cheerful (except at the wee crack of dawn hours) and I try to see the sunnyside of situations. I know I am bubbly, sometimes annoyingly bubbly and perky... but that is me... I am chatty and childish... I like to be tucked in by that special someone and kissed good night before falling asleep. I still sleep with a stuffed animal or at least have something in my arms when I fall asleep (at least a pillow or blanket)... I am goofy and like to try new things, at least MOST things...

In the last few weeks I have realized that I have gotten into a bad habit of cutting people off, putting my needs first in conversations, not asking about others until I am finished with my thoughts... As I so sweetly was told the other night, I need to remember my SUMMARY button and use it more often...

I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers these past few weeks. I know that they are what has helped me make it through this trying time in my life. I ask that you continue to pray for both myself and E to be able to let go of past hurts and be able to continue to talk to each other and move past this hurdle in our lives. We both need the prayers.

THANK you Annie for your support and words of wisdom. I am doin my best to follow your advice because it is sooooo accurate and right on! And THANK YOU Aunt Kim and "Mom" Ronda for both being here for me. E commented the other day on the three of you being so right about me from your posts on facebook, on here, and in person.

Putting my life back together...

I am trying to get my life back together again. After having my world, my hopes, my dreams all thrown up in the air last week, I am striving to be me again. I have been reflecting on my behavior and on the things that were said to me last week. I see what he was saying on several counts and I know that these concerns that he shared are concerns that I don't want linked to me.

I don't want people to think that I am a rude and impolite person. I want people to see me for the person I am. The person who will go out of her way to help others in need and will do anything for my family. I know that I can not change for someone else, or that I shouldn't change specifically for another person. Changing for a person isn't a true change, it is a temporary fix that will eventually unravel. I want to change for me, for my well-being. I am not trying to say that I am an awful or horrible person. I know that I am a good person, I have been reassured of this quite frequently in the past few days... I am just saying that I know that I have room for growth in my life... I want to be a better person, I want to be healthier- eat healthier, workout more, attempt to start jogging again... I want to clean up my language, I have gotten into a bad habit of letting unclean or inappropriate words creep into my vocabulary recently. I want to become a better listener and learn to see things from others perspectives, and recognize when I need to "check" my ego at the door and be willing to look at other perspectives. I need to show the ones that I love that I love them ALL the time, tell them that I am proud of them, bring them up, not break them down. I need to give space when it is needed and when it isn't requested. I can't smother someone with my love, nor can I "dump" all my problems and stress on that person without regards of their personal stresses and stressors. When I do "dump" my stresses, I need to be sure to try to help relieve some of his stresses or be assistive in relieving him of his stresses. I need to show my patient side in ALL areas of life, not just some.

My feelings haven't changed. I still love him with all my heart. I know that we are opposites in many areas, however, the more I think about us, we fit like a glove. He is calm, laid-back, goes with the flow, spontaneous, whereas I am the more high-strung, planner who can be spontaneous but I like to have an idea at least an hour in advance. He brings comfort and serenity to me and shows me how to be more serene and a better person. We are both open minded and easy going. We both love to laugh and hang out with our families and our friends. He likes Japanese anime and manga, LOVES playing soccer and jogging, ENJOYS playing video games and computer games. Me, I like outdoor activities, play video games to an extent, watch sports and read books. I have learned that we have different ways of handling situations and usually we agree that there is more than one way to handle any given situation. We can talk to each other and see other points of view, and we can talk through just about any discussion or dsiagreement. We both may not like to watch racing or sci-fi... but we have lots to offer together.

I am not completely giving up hope on him, nor am I wanting to make excuses for him. I know that if he makes the decision that it is not good for us to date permanently that he is the one losing the best thing that ever happened to him. I know that I will eventually move on and past this if that does occur. I am not hoping that it does, please don't read into that line like this... I want to be with him. I love him not for who he is, but for who I am when I am with him... I love how I feel when he just reaches over, takes my hand, kisses it and goes back to work... or how he will just look up from working on the computer, wink and me and smile and go back to work, as if he just wants to make sure I am still there. The little things that he does to show that he cares, the little things that I took for granted and now I miss tremendously.

I saw a quote today that read something to the effect of, "The worst kind of missing someone is when you are sitting next to them and know you can't have them." That is where I am right now... I see him online and yet I am trying to keep from messaging him... I am dying to call him to see how his day went and how much progress he made... what good things happened in his life today, what has worried him... It is the worst kind of missing someone when they are right at your fingertips and you can't have them...

The start of a new year

2009 didn't start quite the way I had planned to be honest with you all... I had pictured me and Ethan together on New Years Eve hanging out with his siblings and their significant others... kissing at midnight... just having a good time... INSTEAD... I was at home with my nieces and he was with his siblings and their significant others... we were both miserable and lonely, and not feeling well...

You see... we broke up on Tuesday. This came as a shock to me, a huge shock... my world was turned upside down. To think that a little disagreement on how one should have reacted to the other could turn into this. Well it did...

I have been doing some serious reflecting on my life and who I am. I know some things I want to improve upon in my life, not for him, for me. Although, it would benefit him as it would improve our relationship and our communication. I don't normally make new year's resolutions... they always seem to be broken, and I am very adamant on not making a promise that I can't keep. But this year I did make a resolution.

I want to be a better person. I want to do this by: being healthier, trying new things, working out more, communicating my thoughts and my needs in a better way, being more positive about situations, being a better Christian, and a better listener.

Pray for me as I start out making these changes in my life and be supportive of me in this quest to be a better person. Also pray for me and Ethan, we both need all the thoughts and prayers we can get.

Chicken Noodle Soup Gone Bad

So I decided that I wanted to make chicken noodle soup for dinner tonight for myself and my studying boyfriend... what could be better to eat on a COLD night??? So I set about at the grocery store getting the supplies, braved the 15 degree temps outside and the slightly icy conditions on the road to Ethan's house from my parents. I get to Ethan's house and start making chicken noodle soup, all while remembering the time when I made chicken noodle soup in Texas...

Let me digress briefly on the Texas disaster... I thought I was being such an adult and making homemade chicken noodle soup the way my grandma and mom did... all was going well on my FIRST EVER batch of soup, until... Jonathan and Amanda come over to eat with us... and Amanda was the lucky person who found the popper in her soup!!! Who knew that some chickens have the red popper things that turkeys have!!!! Obviously, I didn't!!!

Ok back to tonight. I put the chicken in the hige stock pot, add the broth, seasonings and some more water, cover the soup and go lie down for half an hour with Ethan... suddenly I hear Nate scraping something metal and hearing water running... yea, silly me, I forgot to lift the chicken up after adding the broth and the bottom of the chicken was starting to get nice and on the road to burnt... so after Nate rescued the chicken all went well... we got the chicken out of the pot, tore it up, added the noodles... let that all simmer... ate a bowl of it, decided it was great... then started to smell something burning, kinda like burnt popcorn... Ethan and I both jumped up from our spots on the couches with our computers and dashed into the kitchen to find smoke starting to roll out from under the lid of the stock pot. Yea, I managed to successfully have a SMOKED flavor to my soup!!!!

Thankful...

I am thankful for sooo many things in my life... I wish I were as creative as Annie who uses different size fonts and different fonts in her blogs...

I am thankful for mom ~ dad ~ the girls ~ my memories ~ my wonderful boyfriend ~ my friends ~ my extended Blakemore-Reynolds-Sisler family ~ love ~ happiness ~ safety ~ security ~ freedom ~ life ~ health ~ the future ~ my job

Thank you to everyone who is apart of my life and who has helped to shape me into the woman that I am today.

November... what a month...

What a month this has been... I officially moved out of my apartment on Nov. 1/2 with the intentions of moving into my grandma's house... which didn't happen. As of 8:oo pm on Nov. 18, most of my stuff is in boxes stacked up in my grandma's living room and the rest is stacked up in storage in Skiatook. I have most of my clothes over at a friend's house where I can crash when I can't crash with Ethan. And I am house-bouncing. It has been interesting to say the least!!!

Other activities going on in my life this month. Ethan WANTED to go to the Caravan to dance the other night, and was actually very disappointed when I turned him down because I was so tired from having an extended bout with a sinus infection for the last 8 weeks. So what does he do??? He tells me he wants to go to the TU/ORU basketball game on campus. Once again I tell him that I am tired and would love to go but I need my rest... he buys tickets anyway and we go to the game... the first TU/ORU game since I was a student!! I enjoyed the game and I had to laugh at the serious to almost mean looks that Coaches Scott and Tom have on their faces while coaching!!! To think that these two mean are the kindest and most loving dads on the planet!! But they look so MAD on the court! (I mean that in the nicest way possible)

Happy Halloween!!!

This year I actually got to go over to Grandma Ida's house to see all of the cousins in their adorable costumes!!! The last time I did this, I am afraid to say, Ana was probably only 4 years old????

We had a crazy time at the house as usual!!! It never ceases to amaze me how we can all fit inside Gran I's house at one time and not be crawling on top of each other! But I guess it goes to show that just like your heart grows to love each and every child in your life, your house will grow as well to accommodate them!!! Ethan agreed to come over and meet the rest of my "family" since hadn't met anyone other than Tom, Ronda, Blake and Ana. I honestly don't think that he knew what he was getting himself into when he agreed to come over!!!

The Hankins-Sutton clan on great Gran's swing!!!! This is an annual tradition to take a picture on the swing on Halloween for Uncle (well I call him Uncle at least, they call him Papa) Jim.

Even Uncle Jim got into the spirit of the holiday and had Kimbo paint his hair orange too!!!!

Cousins Luke and Lauren looking so sweet and cute! Luke was Indiana Jones (so fitting for him!) and Lauren was a fairy pumpkin (very fitting for her!!!)

Lauren by herself...

Luke by himself... with Lauren dancing in the background...

After we left Gran I's house we met up with my nieces!!! Syrina decided to NOT dress up this year, apparently at 14 she feels like she is "too old" to dress up...

Kenzie Ann as a cute witch...

Me as a black cat with pink stripes in my hair and the "teenager" so cleverly dressed up...

Me and the girls... gotta love the look on Kenzie's face!!!!

She is looking MUCH happier now!!!

Who ME????

We had the cutest trick-or-treater ever come over, but she wasn't big enough to enjoy the candy so we just held her instead... Olivia was a cute pumpkin, her mommy Whitney was a jack-o-lantern and her daddy was a pumpkin patch!!!!

Here is the Serio family.. See the adorable lil' pumpkin that came to Trick-Or-Treat with us???

Deep in the HEART of Texas...

Hello from Texas! Here are a few of the pictures that were taken this past weekend of me and lil' guy Ty... I had a blast down here these past few days... He is quite a character... all full of smiles and giggles... has found his feet and wants to show them to everyone!!! He is so sweet, as most babies are known to be. I have totally enjoyed him these past 2 days!! I am going to be so sad when I come home to Tulsa and don't get to see him for a few more months!!!

Tyler was flirting with his wonderful auntie Tracey! Look at that cute smile!!! He is so playful and silly!

So sweet sleeping in his swing. Children are so angelic when they sleep!

On other news, I went to the school that I first taught and saw a few of my students today. It was great to see my kids and see the progress that they have made!!!!

Frustrations

It feels like no matter what we do, it turns out to be not enough or we should have done something different in the past... Case in point... the divorce... We had a sneaking suspicion that my ex-sis-in-law had her boyfriend living at the house with her, however, we couldn't prove it, and she denied it when questioned about it so there was nothing we could have done... so when my brother filed to get more time with the girls, we did everything we needed to do to prove that this FELON (explain more later) was living in the house AGAINST the divorce decree that specifically states that NO MALE WILL LIVE IN THE HOUSE WITHOUT BEING MARRIED or something along those lines... so we are basically told that we have to deal with it and move on, prove it later... yet today, later, we are told that we knew about it from the get go and that since we had known from the get go nothing had changed... and we didn't do more then to change the situation...

There is more but I won't go into it now. I have some information from my parents but I am sure that I will get more in the days to come. It is just frustrating to know that my precious nieces are living with a known FELON in their house, and that his TEENAGE son is sharing a room with my little niece when he stays over... that the FELON is consistently drinking in front of the girls and is not putting forth his best effort to show the girls how to be the best that you can be. It is frustrating to know that every chance that they have, their OTHER grandparents are degrading us to the girls and trying to convince the girls that we are not their family and other lies. We know this because my little niece has told us as much, she can't keep anything from us (wow she really does take after me!)... it is hard to sit back and watch knowing that these precious children deserve better and that they could get better... if the lawyers would just do what they are supposed to do when they are supposed to do it...

Please keep my family in your prayers. My brother is pretty hurt by this ruling, he was really hoping for a better outcome, at least joint-parenting with 50-50 custody... instead of Friday after school until school on Monday morning on his weekends... this is a blow to him right now... but there are still things that we CAN do to make life better for these two angels and to help them to be better people.

Has it REALLY been 10 years?

Can it be that we have really been away from the HIVE for 10 years???? It seems like just yesterday we were roaming the halls of the delapitated Booker T... not a care in the world... definitely not caring that we couldn't drink the water from the fountains cause it wasn't clean... or that the walls in the foreign language hall were slowly moving toward the English wing...

We were HOPING for 50 classmates attending the reunion... I don't think that we ever DREAMED we would have 100 classmates register and attend the banquet!!!!

Here we are back at the HIVE for our 10 year reunion weekend festivities!!! As stressful as all the planning was... I definitely would be on the committee again!!!

All the Hornets at our Meet & Greet Registration Reception... we are all standing around the school seal in the front hall of the main building... otherwise known as being in the "Historic Building" to the current students! We had about 40 people turn out for the registration and tour of the NEW building...

The committee goofin around before the classmates appeared to register!

Me and Shanista... my "sista" and my saving grace during all the planning!

Some of the girls at Jewel on Friday night... we had a good turnout for our happy hour event on Friday night... about 70 people showed up at the Jewel to drink, dance and catch up!

Me and Val... one of my best girls even after 10 years!! My how time has flown by...

David and me... to think we were in the first grade together at Owen Elementary... and now look at us... :)

Me and Ethan!!! Aren't we a cute couple!!!

The ladies of 1998!!!

Me and Val at the end of the night...


The reunion was a success... the technical difficulties that we experiences didn't phase the rest of the reunion attendees... praise be for that! We did have some minor issues that we didn't expect pop up... but just like planning any event, such as a wedding or reunion, there is bound to have something happen... I must admit that my heart fell out of my chest when I clicked on the slideshow and nothing showed up but red X for all of my pictures! Luckily, I had my laptop with me and Ethan got that set up for me while we took our class picture!!!

HORNETS oh HORNETS...

We LOVE you so.... This weekend is my 10 year reunion from Booker T!!! I can't believe (well, yes, I actually can...) that we graduated 10 years ago! It doesn't seem like it was that long ago... but then again... they say that time flies when you are having fun!

I will post pictures of THEN and NOW after the reunion is over!

Where in the world is Tracey...

So I have received a few emails, some texts, a curious comment on myspace or two all to the point of: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN???? I haven't seen you...

WELL.... I can answer with one word... just which should I choose... I could go with...

WORK... SCHOOL... HADES... INSANE... NUTS... Arkansas... BUSY... BABYSITTING... WORK... CLAREMORE... CLASSROOM... oh and school...

Yeah, school started much to my chagrin... and I have been busy! As many of you may know, in the middle of July I started babysitting for a local company called SEEKING SITTERS... I thought that this would be a good way to make some extra money (we all know that teachers need it!!!) and keep myself occupied while E is studying or working when school starts back for him... I know... I babysit for some of the MOST FANTABULOUS families already... BUT...

Last week alone (our first two days back with students, plus two days in the building...) I babysat for 18 hours... this week I have already sat for 12... with 4 more on Sunday!! I think I am nuts...

BUT... on the flip side of this crazy, hectic schedule I have thrown myself into... I am practicing my teaching skills OUTSIDE of being a speech pathologist... and practicing all sorts of patience with one little guy that I have been sitting... AND... I am saving money to go BACK to Germany in March to see my oldest and greatest friend, Jeremy!!!!

CRISIS...

I love starting my morning off with a little crisis... always a good way to start the day...

Background information: Last night my best friend Z sends me a text saying that he is going to be working on his race car if I wanted to come over and help him out with some of the basic things I could. So I change clothes and head out to his house about 10:00 in the evening. I was starting to go a little stir crazy mainly because I had been inside ALL day long with the exception of driving to and from my babysitting job. Once at Z's house I actually did help him with his race car... I finally found a comfy place laying down out in his garage on the four wheeler and I fell asleep only to leave myself defenseless against the ravaging mosquitos we have here in Tulsa...

Fast-forward now to this morning (well later this morning... it was kinda late when I came in "last night")... I get up, get dressed and get my stuff together to head over to watch my lil' Ana... only to not be able to find my keys... I search all over my apartment, I retrace my steps... I call Ana's mom to tell her I am goin to be late because I can't find my keys. I continue to look all over, I even called my own mom to see where she would hide if she were my keys! I looked EVERYWHERE! I mean literally, EVERYWHERE! I looked in my washer and dryer (who knows it was late when I came in, I could have checked for clothes in there), the fridge and freezer (I do remember getting a drink), the trash, under the bed, IN the bed to no avail. Lucky for me, Ana was able to go over to her grandpa's house for the morning... but goodness gracious!

I finally found my keys, after an hour of searching. Any ideas as to where??? In the bag that I was carrying that had stuff in it for the day for an arts and crafts idea!!!

Happy Independence Day!

This is a day to reflect on HOW our country became the free and right-giving country that we are today... We should thank each and every person that we know that is in the military now and in the past.

An awesome pic of Ol' Glory taken on July 4, 2006

Fireworks



I hope that everyone has a wonderful and safew Fourth of July weekend! Enjoy all the fun, sun, bbq and firework displays!!!

Monster Cookies and Pizza

I am not sure whether or not I have made an entry for our adventure in making monster cookies and pizza from scratch... if I have... ignore the commentary and enjoy the pictures...

Syrina measuring out ingredients for the cookies.

Ethan helping Syrina get just the right amount of peanut butter.

Group effort to mix the batter...

Ethan directing the mixing of the batter...

Now to add the oats...

Mixing the oats... by hand...

Looks like fun!!!!

Hand shot!!!

Kenzie's messy hands...

Misti's hands...

Syrina showing off her hands...

Kenzie's mix... reese's and hershey's kissables

Misti showing off her mix of snickers and dark chocolate M&M's

Syrina's mix of butterfingers & M&Ms

The cookies ended up being wonderful! We learned some good lessons about baking with candy bars as well!!! We must thank Ethan's mom for sharing her recipe with her sons... and Ethan for sharing the recipe with us! As well as making cookies, we also made pizza dough from scratch and even made our own pizzas! The evening was a lot of fun! The girls and I are looking for another fun weekend that includes a slumber party like this one!

Spring Pictures

Last weekend we gathered as a family at Woodward Park to take some springtime family photos. We were not at a shortage for cameras... we had a total of 5 digital cameras and my manual camera on hand. I think we got a few good shots to go into the memory books and that are worthy of sharing with my family and friends that read my blog!