2011 In review

I can't believe how quickly 2011 flew by!!! It seems like just yesterday we were in Tulsa preparing to drive back to Denver from Christmas with our families and now we have two days left in the year!

2010 ended with the death of a very special woman in my life. Grandma Ida, my adopted great-grandmother, passed away on 12/30/2010 as we were leaving to come home to Colorado. Grandma Ida was 99! Unfortunately I was unable to return to Tulsa the beginning of January for her memorial service, which was a beautiful service dedicated to her beautiful life and the wonderful memories and legacy that she left behind. The rest of January was spent working in a place that I was becoming more resentful and unhappy, being sicker than I had in a long time and making final plans for our wedding. We had tastings for two different caterers, several floral consultations, and final decisions made on our wedding invites. We got to see Zach and Whitney for the day when we went to Golden to tour the Coors Factory and explore in downtown Golden. Then the next weekend they spent the night with us!

February was an exciting month... we received our cocktail napkins for the wedding, our wedding invites arrived and were sent out (5 months early for our wedding) and we received two photo books. My birthday came and went with me being laid up on the couch sick (again)... Ian, not having a job at the time, bought me the cutest (and most awesomest) stuffed frog for a combined Valentine's and birthday gift. (I still sleep with that frog every night!) Grandma Austin went in for her annual check up for her cancer... and we got the news that it was back... decisions to be made once more information was gathered.

March brought the "international" invites going out (on the 1st) and the selection of our caterer... we had a hard time deciding between the two caterers! We decided to do our own flowers rather than pay a lot of money for someone else to do what we could do on our own. In effort to save some money, we stayed home during my Spring Break and did work around the house. We built me a desk/craft area and refurbed an antique table base. We also bought enough seed to cover the earth (or so it seemed) to reseed our front and back yard (in an attempt to get some grass to grow...) and soil conditioner and fertilizer and even some flower seeds and bulbs. We were hoping that the gardens would be in full bloom when our families arrived in July...

April 1st was 100 days from our wedding! What an exciting day! Ian told me that he didn't care about the count down until we hit 100! We continued our project of improving the yards and garden... still hoping for some amazing blooms in July! I had my summative evaluation with my principal. All remarks were proficient, meets expectations, exceeds expectations in almost all areas, the only areas that were needs improvement or improving were in the areas of SBS (Standards Based System). I was a little relieved after this evaluation meeting. Grandma found out that she needed to have a hysterectomy to remove the cancerous cells from her body near the end of the month. Now the wait was on to find out when the surgery was going to be scheduled... Nothing like hurrying up to wait for the insurance company!

May brought us even closer to the wedding. Our plans were coming together seamlessly. Invites were out, decorations mainly purchased, photographer set, engagement pictures taken, caterer finalized and steps were in place for the Tulsa reception in August. Then I got the letter... well actually the meeting with my administration team... I was being non-renewed because I "didn't fit" with the building... I was devastated but at the same time, I was already looking for another job because I was not happy with where I was professionally. Drama was starting to settle down amongst the natives regarding the wedding plans. I taught my Severe Needs Special Education class how to sign the National Anthem and we signed it in front of the entire districts participants at our STARZ Track ad Field day for our special needs kids!!! I was sooo proud of my kids (and my staff!)!!!

June finally arrived! I drove home for a whirlwind 10 day trip. Two bridal showers, my nieces dance recital, two veil fittings, a hair appointment, dress fittings with mom and my reception dress,  and time with my little brother and Ana, oh and an interview. It was quite the trip that is for sure. During my trip I got to talk to my favorite GI Joe, Ed Johnson, just before he loaded up on the plane to go to Afghanistan for his 9 month tour. After returning to Colorado the whirlwind continued... dress pressed, nails done, spray tan completed, bridal portraits, jewelry party, makeup party, shopping with friends to finish up decorations and last minute details. I even met up with my friend Karin to sew purses for the bridal party AND 100 corn sacks/tubes for wedding favors. We celebrated Ian's birthday in his requested low-key style. You'd like information on my interview huh? Let's just say that within 30 minutes of finishing the interview, I received a call offering me a job! I accepted within 15 minutes! Grandma Austin had her hysterectomy with enough time to heal before my parents came out to Colorado for the wedding. However, just before coming out we got the news that there was some suspicious fluid in/around her stomach and intestines...

Our wedding month FINALLY came around! The weekend before our wedding we decided to jet set off to Aspen... on July 1 we dropped the dogs off at the kennel to be boarded for the weekend and we were off! We had never driven up Loveland Pass before so we decided to give it a shot, we had all the time in the world! Loveland Pass was beautiful! After that side trip we stayed on the passes and took Independence Pass into Aspen. Since we had never stopped at the Independence Ghost Town before (prior to my father visiting summer 2010) we thought we'd stop and hike and explore the area! After the ghost town, we headed on into Aspen and decided to check out Hunter creek before meeting up with Ian's cousins for the evening in Basalt. Saturday morning we got up and headed home, but we decided to take the scenic route home again. This time we stopped at the Day Grotto area on the pass where we explored the Ice Cave for the 3rd year in a row. Then we headed home the same way that we arrived. Who does that!?!?! The weekend before your wedding go out of town!!! We came home to tag the favors, place stickers on the water bottles and stuff hotel guest sacks and start cleaning like crazy people in preparation for my family to arrive on Wednesday! The fourth of July was another low-key affair, Kodi is scared to death of loud noises so we had to stay home with her to make sure she didn't freak out. My parents came in early to help out with final plans for the wedding. It seemed like everything had been coming together so smoothly and then the week of just fell apart! We went from having 60 RSVP'd guests to 40... the flower lady called to say that the flowers I had ordered didn't arrive... had to go to two different stores to get the flowers... it was storming, like Oklahoma thunderstorms... we hadn't finalized the slideshow and the music playlists or selected our vows, and it didn't seem like it would ever happen! The final straw that nearly brought me down was the phone call from Ian's mom saying that her sister wasn't going to be able to make the wedding... no biggie right? WRONG! Her sister is the one who had the veil!!! AUGH!!!! About the time that I was getting weak in the knees and tears were flowing over my freshly spray tanned face, Ian found out that the veil had been overnighted to us!

The wedding was beautiful, despite Ian being sick... I wouldn't change any of the details if I could do it over again. (See posts on the wedding). Finally, our families went home, Ian started to feel better and we prepared to go to Tulsa for the next reception.

The beginning of August was very hectic as well. I was starting orientation and moving my stuff into my new classroom and we were packing to go to Tulsa. That four day trip left my head spinning and my body wishing for a day off before returning to training! The reception was fun and we had a lot of people come by to wish us well and to catch up with us. It was so great to get to spend time with Kelly and Jack as well as Zach and Whitney. My new job started and I was loving the team that I worked with at my elementary school. For the first time in my career my caseload was less than 50! The team that I worked with was organized and open to helping me and supporting me. We finally got the news from the doctor that grandma had a rare form of cancer brought on from the over-radiation 7 years ago when she initially was diagnosed with Colon cancer... this new form of cancer was determined to be untreatable. She didn't make it to our reception because she wasn't feeling too well, but we did manage to spend some time with her before the party.

September brought Ian a job with Handyman Matters. He was working like crazy, which was good for him and us.  Work was still good and I was still loving it!!! The fall foliage was beautiful and we were enjoying being married. I even got to see my friend Jen from Fort Worth!!! Grandma was still doing well and living in her apartment, although we were wondering how long that would last...

Then in October work slowed down for Ian. Boo!!! We took a day to go to Estes Park with our friends, Ilene and Franco and their crazy kids, Shi and Sergio. The scarecrows in Estes were fun! I think that we will be trying that again next year! Grandma Austin's health was starting to decline- she was starting to have difficulty eating and her blood count was low. She was tired a lot and was starting to have pain.

November brought my parents making preparations for Grandma to move in with them. Since grandma's health was declining more rapidly than they expected, my parents flew me home the week before Thanksgiving so that I could spend time with her. I had a great visit at home. I got to spend time with my grandma sewing and some quality one on one time that I never really had the chance to have as a child growing up. I will always have the blankets that my grandma and I made together. I flew back to Colorado on Wednesday before Thanksgiving so that we could spend our first married Thanksgivingtogether.

December... my first Christmas to NOT be with my family... this was a tough pill to swallow for me. But there was no possible way that we were going to be able to afford the trip to Tulsa. We bought our first Christmas tree and decorated it with the various decorations that we have collected since we started dating... we even hung our stockings under the mantle! Having the decorations up made it a little easier being away from our families. And it was a little nice having a quiet day together, not being back and forth between his family and mine and time together... Grandma was living with my parents by this time. Her health was declining a little faster than expected, my mom was starting to have to come to grips with the fact that this would be the last holiday spent with her mother. :(

New Years Eve 2011 came with us ringing in the new year with Ian's cousins and friends. It is great being able to spend time with family and develop these wonderful relationships!!!

Random thoughts while driving...

So I drove to Tulsa and back to Denver roundtrip over the course of 9 days... that is 21-22 hours roundtrip in the car just to-from Denver/Tulsa. When I got near to Oklahoma, I started to see the wonderful orange cones, barricades, and poles, not to mention the orange detour signs, reduce speed ahead and roads closed... Kansas must think that since Oklahoma is doing so much road construction that they need to follow suite... yea Dear Kansas... just because Oklahoma is doing it, doesn't mean you need to as well...

While on the road I had some random thoughts... first of all, if our GPS has the option to avoid highways, tollways, traffic and main roads, why doesn't it have an option to avoid construction? But on the same random thought, it is probably a good thing that Sami, our GPS, doesn't have an option to avoid construction... she would have told me to turn off my car and go inside when I set the destination when leaving for Tulsa!

Another random thought... you know those little lines you see in groups at the sides of the road just beside the lines in the shoulder... ever wonder what they are for? Well I used to... and the memory came back to me while driving to Tulsa of these ridges being explained to me by one of my close friends in high school... the memory came back to me in the construction zones in Kansas where I was becoming peeved at construction knowing that I would encounter more when I hit the OK stateline... I remembered being in high school on the charter bus traveling somewhere with the band... Shane and I always sat together and I remember waking up one night on one of our trips hearing the "rrrrrr" sound as we approached the turnpike toll gate. I recall sleepily mumbling to Shane something about what made that sound and why. (Sleeping on the bus was a rarity and when I could grab an hour of sleep it really upset me to be woken up, especially by a sound that is so horrible!). Shane's explanation of the ridges and the sound still rings in my head when driving... he told me that night (not sure if he was thinking on his toes or if he knew the real reason) that the ridges are there to wake people up if they fall asleep while driving and drift over the lines...

Another of my random thoughts... if Oklahoma were to take all of the orange cones, barricades and poles that they have placed throughout the state and went around the state, we could totally have an orange border around the entire state with some orange cones left over!!!

More thoughts while driving through Kansas... sign that read, "If you die today, where will you spend ETERNITY?" My initial thought- "Hopefully not here... this would be HELL in my book!" Saw a sign that I had to take a double take after I read it... I swear it said DRUNKARD Brethern Church... it really said DUNKARD...

Driving in and around Tulsa is not fun... I left the movie theater at 71st and Lynn Lane headed back to my parents house in Skiatook... to get home I took 51/64 (the BA) to 244 to 75 to 20... my GPS wanted me to take 51/64 to 244 to 169 to 11 to 75 to 20... does anyone else have the urge to shout out "BINGO" or "You sank my battleship!" right about now? The highways being closed and/or rerouted made going to my dad's fire station quite a road trip! Instead of taking hwy 75 from Skiatook to the 244 curve and back to 75 S all the way there, I had to take 75 S to 244 W to the 244 E/ 51/64 E turn off, exit at downtown because I realized I should have taken the West bound option, drive through downtown until I came to the other 75 S on-ramp (the one m GPS sent me to was closed...) so that I could go a mile on it before being rerouted back to city streets to get back on the highway a little ways up... good grief!!!

Who knows when all the construction will end, but hopefully when I come home in August for the Tulsa reception I don't have to endure all the construction in Kansas AND in Oklahoma!!!

365 days later

365 days ago my world crashed down around me... the world as I knew it ceased to exist anymore. My best friend, my mentor, my rock, my center of support, my grandmother passed away very unexpectantly.

365 later, I look back at how my life has changed. How much I have had to learn to be independent of someone I had been so dependent on for 26 years. I still feel like there is a very wide gorge in my heart that will never be filled in and that I will never be completely whole again. But in this past year, I have learned how to turn to my parents for support and to believe in myself.

365 days have past, and yet it feels so new to me, it is as if I am hearing the news for the first time. I woke up in tears just a week ago from a dream that I was at my grandma's funeral... A day doesn't go by that I want to call my grandma, a day doesn't go by that I don't want to stop at her house to chat and sit on the porch swing. A day doesn't go by that I don't wish I could just have one more day with her to tell her how much I really did love her and how much she really meant to me. A day doesn't go by that I don't wish that she had actually sat down and took the time to write how what she wanted us to do with her belongings... so that my dad and uncle wouldn't be in the middle of a battle field when it comes to the sentimental items that we cherished the most.

Alberta Mae Perkins Barnes, born July 10, 1930 and left us to be with her heavenly family Oct. 6, 2006. She was a well respected woman loved by all that met her. I was so blessed to have her in my life for the 26 and a half years that she was here. I consider myself lucky to have had a close relationship with my grandmother. I had something that most children don't have with their parents, let alone their grandparents. I know that my grandma is looking down on me from heaven and that she is happy. I know that she wouldn't want me to be sitting here on my bed crying. She would be sitting with me on my bed holding me and telling me that it would be all right that I would see her when I get to heaven.

Here is what I wrote about my grandmother when I wrote her life story for her funeral.

Alberta was born Alberta Mae Perkins on July 10, 1930 to Edwin Fritz and Velma Perkins in Hartsburg, Missouri. After the passing of her mother, she was raised by her grandma Perkins. She spent her summers with her father, step-mother, and two brothers, Virgil and Bob. In high school, she enjoyed spending time with her friends, going dancing, listening to big band music, going to the local store to get a soda. When needed, Alberta chose to get a job to help her family instead of finishing school; she did receive her diploma through a correspondence program. Later, Alberta moved to St. Louis, MO where she worked in a sewing factory. In 1952, she met and married her husband, Aurben Cordell (A.C). They were married August 3, 1953 in Kansas City. They moved to Tulsa after their marriage where they started their family with the addition of Alan in 1955 and the next addition of James in 1957.

When the boys were growing up, Alberta was active in every part of their lives. She participated in PTA at Kendall Elementary, was a den mother while the boys were in Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts, and was the neighborhood mom. She managed to raise Alan and James to adulthood despite their best efforts to not reach adolescence. The boy’s friends knew that they were welcome at the Barnes home at any time. At one point, Alberta received the nickname of “the Beast” from some of the boys that hung out at the house. Not only did she raise her own children, she contributed to the upbringing of many other children in the neighborhood and in the homes of the people for whom she worked.

In 1978, Alberta officially became a grandmother when Duane joined the family. Then in 1980, she was blessed with her first granddaughter, Tracey Lynn.


Duane and Tracey were her pride and joys until Jamie, Sister, and Joseph came along to share the spotlight.
She made many of the dresses that Tracey wore as a child, as well as other clothes for her and Duane. She also made extravagant costumes for all of the grandkids for various performances. The grandkids had a variety of ways of getting Alberta’s attention, she would respond to Grandma Alan, MaAlan, Grandma Barnes, great Grammy, and even Bertie. Her passion for classic movies rubbed off on the grandkids, as well as her love for big band, barber shop quartets, and 40’s music. She was always very supportive of her grandchildren, and would drop what she was doing to attend a school play, sporting event, recital, church service or to take them to an event. She made sure that the grandchildren were exposed to many different cultures and other life experiences. Tracey remembers going to the Tulsa Little Theater for every production for several years, then latergoing to the PAC and TU theater productions. Going to a theater production was a special outing and a reason to get dressed up.

Later, Alberta enjoyed the blessing of seeing her great grandchildren grow and mature. Misti, Syrina, and McKenzie loved going to great grandma Alan’s house while spending time with their Grammy and Papa. It was a treat for the girls to come to Grandma Alan’s house to play and to sew. Alberta loved all of grandchildren and great grandchildren.

In Tulsa, Alberta attended Harvard Avenue United Methodist Church, where she was active in just about every aspect in the running of the church. If there was something that needed to be organized, run, or finished at the church, Alberta was the go-to gal. She has coordinated the Sunday School program, Vacation Bible School, United Methodist Woman programs, Mother-Daughter Banquets, and even coordinated costumes for the annual Christmas programs at various times. Alberta was very active in the church, if the doors were open; she was there regardless of how she felt.

In her spare time, between church functions and her family, Alberta enjoyed reading books, working on her cross stitch projects, making quilts, sewing and making alterations, ironing, playing cards, and watching her soap operas. She always had several books going at once and could keep each story separate. At any given time, one could find Alberta working on one craft project or another; she made both of her sons Christmas stockings as well as all five of her grandchildren. She also cross stitched birth announcements for many special children in her life. Another of Alberta’s specialties was making alterations to formal dresses and every day clothes for her grandchildren and great grandchildren.

As a child of the Great Depression and growing of age during the Second World War, her penchant for attention to details and finishing what she started was firmly rooted in her personality. These qualities played in all of her actions through out her life. Her cooking skills were also honed during this time. Her agricultural background allowed her to be able to take the simplest ingredients and make them seem as sufficient a meal as the Thanksgiving or Christmas meal. She was known especially for her much requested angel food cake, green beans, fried chicken, and her notorious scotcheroos.

Alberta will be remembered by all as being supportive, a listening ear to hear the good and the bad stories, easy going, helpful of others, all-knowing, dedicated, loyal, faithful, dependable, patient, loving, a leader, and always being right. She has been credited with the teaching of others to complete household tasks such as ironing, dusting, cooking, sewing, amongst other life skills. She had a knack for keeping in contact with her family near and far, as well as her friends from her childhood. The boys remember that Alberta never learned to ride a motorcycle despite the numerous lessons from them and A.C. In recent years, Alberta received her driver’s license and started driving after many years of being a passenger.

She has gone on to heaven to meet her Lord and Savior as well as to enjoy being with her family and friends that have preceded her in death.

I know I can't live in the past that I have to live for today and for the future... I have to keep the memory of my grandmother alive by doing the things for my nieces that she did for me... to remind my nieces of what their great grandma Alan was all about. It is alright to remember my grandma and to smile and even shed a tear - but I can't live in the past and live with regrets...

Here's to 365 more days of my life and my future and remembering my grandma.

Memories of Grandma

As you can see, my grandma was a big supporter of my education. She was just as proud of me on my (last) graduation day as my parents!

Yesterday I decided that I was going to make chicken noodle soup... so while at the store, I thought do I have everything I need... automatically, I picked up my phone and started to choose MaAlan out of my phone book to call... wait, can't do that... so I called my momma instead, who was at MaAlan's house. So today, I am making homemade chicken noodle soup using the same recipe that my grandma taught me and praying that it turns out as good as her soup! There are a lot of things that my grandma had left to teach me. One of those things was how to fry chicken. My grandma made the BEST fried chicken around! As a child, we woul dhave fried chicken and mashed potatoes with her special green beans for dinner every Saturday night. Boy was that good! I have tried to fry chicken, once... I think during the cooking process I called my grandma at least 4 times to make sure I was doing everything correctly!

Something else that I didn't get to fully learn from my grandma: how to get stains out of clothing. That woman could get ANY stain out of clothes, regardless if it had set in or been washed/dried already! She was a pro at getting the stains out and before we were allowed to pick up the item, she woudl wash it and have it ironed and hanging in the dining room waiting for us.

I have a lot left to learn, and I was counting on my grandma to teach me a lot of stuff. I guess I am on my own now to figure out the perfect recipe for fried chicken, and how to make real gravy (from scratch)... at least I learned how to make her scotcharoos!!!!

In memory of Grandma Alan

I wanted to take a moment to remember my precious and dear Grandma Alan. She was a very wonderful and special lady in my life. I valued all of the time that I was blessed to have with her. She not only was my grandma, she was my friend, a confident, my ally, and my partner in crime... we could spend the afternoon out shopping or at home sewing and have a good time. She passed away peacefully in her sleep the night of Oct. 5, 2006 and was found Friday Oct. 6. I rushed home to be with my family that evening after getting the news.

This week was definitely a long week for me and my family, but we muddled through each day with a smile on our faces. I know that my grandma is in heaven looking down on me and smiling each day of my life. I am sad that she is no longer here with me to talk to in the evenings, go shopping with when I am home, to discuss the newest Nora Roberts books, to help me finish my quilts... but she is in heaven with her other family and friends and I am sure that she is busy sewing, and ironing and babysitting already!

Please continue to keep my family in your prayers. Thanks so much.

Oh what a week...

To borrow a line from Roomba Mom... oh what a week that was...

Last week was a CRAZY week for me! We had inservice all week long for work, with lots of times where I was wishing I was anywhere but in the really incredibly cold room that we were placed, I had to work on getting my room to resemble a classroom (hahahaha!), and then to top it off I made a trip home to Tulsa...

To start off, the Blakemore family lost a wonderful woman whom they loved very much on Tuesday, August 8, 2006. Memaw Jody lost her battle with cancer and was taken to heaven to live with God for eternity. We gathered together to remember her wonderful life on Monday, August. 14 in Tulsa. A good time was had by all with such wonderful memories! I had the chance to spend some time with Ana Rae this past weekend as well as with my own nieces. When Blake texted me the news I was ready to come home that instant, but he insisted that I stay in Texas and at work (how mature was that!) and to wait until the weekend to come home.

Last week, as I said was a crazy week! I did not get access to my classroom out in the portable until Thursday before we started inservice, and that was when my principal sweetly asked (informed...) me to have my room ready for parents on the 10th... uh huh... like that was gonna happen! It almost did! I loaded my car down to the hilt with stuff from my house and took it to the school where my worst nightmare was in motion! The concrete guys were there pouring concrete for the sidewalk and ramp to the portable!!!! But... this turned out to be good for me as the guys helped me to unload my car... yea... sweet!!!! Then I headed BACK to my old middle school (I liked that place by the way) to get the REST of my supplies that were not at my house all summer... Saturday Trevor sweetly loaded that stuff in his truck and went with me to school to put everything in my room only to find that no one was at school... grrr! Which meant that Monday after inservice would I not only have to work on my room, I was gonna have to find a helpful (and strong) male teacher to help me unload my car... (thanks Jonathan!!!) So, most of the week after 8 hours of training I went to my school to work on my classroom for 2 more hours... I made it home each night about 8:30... roughly 13 hours after I left...

Friday I drove home to be with my family and my adopted family (the Marf's) for the weekend. On Saturday my parents and I took my nieces to a Pow-Wow at the Expo center which was pretty cool! Then Sunday Ana and I took my grandma Alan to dinner! That was pretty hilarious! During a conversation about a girl I know having a baby Ana Rae asks...

Ana: MeMe are you pregnant?
Me: Not that I know of...
(uh oh... not what you say to a 5 yr old... I saw the wheels turning in her head... quickly back pedalled for fear this would be repeated to the family...)
Me: No Ana, there is no way I could be pregnant...
Ana: (sigh) good... cause if you were THAT kind of girl... I dunno if I should hang out with you anymore...

After a few minutes of laughing, I finally was able to compose myself! THAT kind of girl... exactly WHAT kind of girl was SHE referring to with that comment????? A few minutes later...

Ana: My Memaw died...
Me: I know baby girl... I'm sorry about that...
Ana: It's okay, sometimes people just don't make it to that really big number...
Me (innocently): What big number would that be Ana Rae? (thinking it would be 100 or something like that...)
Ana: You know... a big number... like 30...

Once again I had to compose myself... I guess my days are numbered... I have less than 3.5 years...

Monday was the memorial service for Memaw. Ana did very well during the service, I was very proud of her! To learn more about this wonderful lady check out the blog that her daughters have created: www.jodyblakemore.blogspot.com

Now to this week... I have already been told of 3 new referrals... and 2 new transfers... and I still can't find 5 of my 55 kids that I already knew about... not to mention the parents of 3 and 4 yr olds that are calling wanting to know when I am going to start therapy with their kids! I am soooo tired!!! Did I mention that I have to wear heels and walk around that blessed (refraining from using bloody) building all day long! I promise I probably walked more than 2 miles just today!!!!

I hope everyone else has a wonderful week!!! Keep me posted! I will hopefully have a more fun and optimistic post the next time... :)